WWE RAW News (Page 9)

Here is the official preview for Monday Night Raw tonight...

Raw hops the pond this week to visit Birmingham, England in what promises to be a bloody good show. But while the Superstars will be hopping the pond, their rivalries will remain firmly entrenched.

Chief among them: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels and Triple H vs. Umaga.

Michaels stunned Orton when he returned from spending months on the sidelines and put him to sleep with Sweet Chin Music. What else does HBK have in store for the Legend Killer? And do his plans include Orton’s newly-won WWE Championship?

Meanwhile, last week, Umaga continued relentlessly punishing Triple H long after the bell had sounded in their Handicap Match pitting The Game against the Samoan Bulldozer & WWE Champion Randy Orton. After adding injury to insult, can Umaga really hope to leave Europe without feeling the wrath of The Game?

Two other Superstars who will be taking their rivalry across the pond are Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes. So far, the veteran Holly has bested the upstart Rhodes in two hard-fought, closely-contested wars. With the third time be the charm for Cody Rhodes?

In other action, Beth Phoenix made her Raw debut last week as Women’s Champion and ushered in the self-proclaimed “Era of the Glamazon” only to be embarrassed by former Champ Candice Michelle in a Six-Divas Tag Team Match.

The Candy-coated Diva pinned one of the Glamazon’s tag partners to secure the victory and prove that she is still a force to contend with. Will the freshly-crowned Women’s Champion continue to devour her opponents? Or was last week’s hiccup a sign of things to come?

Monday's night's edition of Monday Night RAW did a 2.8 cable rating, which is down from last week’s 3.2 cable rating.

RAW posted hours of 2.8 and 2.8. Coming off a big PPV with three WWE title matches and two title changes for one title, there is definitely concern. But Monday Night Football and the Major League Baseball Playoffs may have played a role int he final numbers.

The following report is courtesy of lordsofpain.net...

We start of with "No Chance" as Vince McMahon makes his way to the ring and grabs a mic. He says that his word is his bond and he proved it last night at No Mercy. Vince shows us a recap of No Mercy, with the WWE Championship on the line three times, eventually ending up in the hands of the Legend Killer. Back in the ring, Vince says that history will be made once again tonight, if for no other reason than that every WWE superstar will come out at the same time to shake the hand of Randy Orton. VKM says that Randy's first title defense will be at Cyber Sunday. Vince is interrupted by the music of Triple H. Vince tells HHH to calm down, as the Game stalks Vince around the ring. HHH tells Vince to shut up, and says that nobody cares about Cyber Sunday. They care about tonight, so he's invoking his rematch clause. Vince tells HHH to be careful what he wishes for, but tonight, Triple H gets his rematch. Vince stops, and says, while that's true, it's a handicap match, with Triple H against Randy Orton and his tag-team partner, Umaga.

Beth Phoenix, Melina, and Jillian v. Candice Michelle, Mickie James, and Maria
Melina starts things off by assaulting Maria, but Maria counters and tags in Mickie, who hits a baseball slide dropkick. Mickie finds herself tangled up in the ropes, so Melina gets the upper hand and begins delivering vicious kicks to the side. Melina tags in Beth, and Beth delivers a modified knee drop, tagging in Jillian, who makes a quick tag to melina, and they doubleteam mickie. Melina with a 2 count, and works Mickie with a leglock, only to get kicked away. Mickie misses an enziguiri, and Jillian comes in, but Mickie fights both off and gets the hot tag to Candice. Candice with clotheslines, clearing the ring. Northern lights suplex gets a two count, when Beth Phoenix interferes. Maria and Mickie james throw Beth out of the ring, but Beth grabs Mickie on the way out and powerbombs her on the outside. Jillian in the ring has Candice in the corner, but Candice gets on Jillian's shoulders and hits a victory roll for the win!
Your Winners: Candice, Mickie, and Maria

Coach is in the back with Regal. Coach says a lesser man wouldn't be here, but he doesn't feel sorry for what happened to John Cena. Coach is now walking with a cane. Coach asks about the photos, and the camera shows photos of Elton John, Queen Elizabeth, and George Michael. Coach says all three are Queens, much to Regal's chagrin. VKM shows up and asks Regal if he's taking care of Hornswoggle. Regal says Hornswoggle is napping, but is a little darling. Vince says that Hornswoggle is Regal's responsibility now. Regal tells Coach to check on Hornswoggle. When Coach opens the door, he says Hornswoggle isn't there. Regal blames Coach for losing him, and sends Coach to go find him.

Santino Marella v. Val Venis
Val Venis is looking heavier these days. Santino immediately gets out of the ring and grabs the mic from Lilian Garcia. He introduces Lilian and says her band will be playing tonight. Marella says he can't fight Venis tonight, he's got a previous engagement. He says that William Regal has a formidable substitute opponent, and Snitsky's music hits.

The bell rings, and Snitsky goes right after Val's knee. Snitsky throws Val into the corner and continues working that bad knee with stomps and kicks. Huge slam by Snitsky, followed by an elbow drop. Val starts to get some offense in, but kicks Snitsky with his bad leg, which causes him to pause and tend to it. Val catches a big boot, and after a double underhook vice, Snitsky puts the pumphandle slam on Venis for the win.
Your Winner: Snitsky

John Cena is live via satellite. He says it will be 7-12 months before he comes back, and that it was painful, but he's not thinking about it: just getting back in the ring. After being asked about Orton's comments last night, Cena says it's better to fight and lose than to not fight at all. Orton should not worry about Cena, but about HHH, and every WWE Superstar. JR thanks Cena, and the interview wraps up.

Orton's music hits, and the Champ comes out for the handicap match that Vince announced earlier.

Orton and Umaga v. Triple H
HHH attacks Umaga, but Orton jumps in and both men are attacking the Game. Orton goes for the RKO early but HHH pushes Orton into Umaga, sending the Bulldozer outside of the ring. HHH with a DDT on Orton, and a 2 count, but Umaga pulls HHH out and throws him into the guard rail. Umaga pounds away on HHH and throws him back in the ring. Both men assault Triple H; Orton then mounts HHH and sends punches to the Games head. HHH is busted open. Headbutt splash by Umaga. Two on one, as Umaga throws Triple H into a dropkick by Orton. Orton now holds HHH while Umaga hits him with punches. Samoan drop by Umaga, and Orton directs Umaga to the top rope. HHH kicks Orton into Umaga, who crashes from the top rope. HHH with a facebuster on Orton, but as he sets up for the pedigree, Umaga interferes. HHH sends umaga to the outside, and gets ready for the pedigree on Orton, but Umaga runs back in with a chair and gets DQ'd when he hits the Game.

The Game is out, as both men assault him, ending with Orton hitting an RKO, and Umaga setting Triple H up for a butt-smash as Orton leaves. HHH gets hit with 2 butt-smashes, and Umaga goes to the top rope and hits a big splash. A Samoan spike puts an exclamation point on it, and the crowd is hating every minute of this. Refs come and try to carry him away, but HHH pushes them away, and the King of Kings tries to walk back on his own. He falls on the ramp, and Raw goes to a commercial with Triple H being assisted by the refs.

London and Kendrick v. Highlanders
Rory starts out against London, pounding him with firsts, but London strikes back, attacking both Highlanders and hitting a kick that sends Rory out of the ring. Kendrick and London go over the ropes and hit both Highlanders. Rory strikes London back in the ring now, and Robbie gets tagged in and has the advantage. Rory is tagged back in, and holds London in a reverse chinlock. London powers out and hits an armdrag, and Rory tags Robbie, followed by a hot tag from London to Kendrick. Kendrick with a series of flying moves, and Kendrick gets a two count. Rory gets thrown from the ring when he tries to interfere, and London hits a moonsault on the outside. In the ring, Robbie catched Kendrick in the corner, and gets his feet on the ropes. The ref doesn't see it, so the Highlanders get a cheap victory.
Your Winners: The Highlanders

Continue Reading...

Thanks to wrestlezone.com for the following report... 

- Three unknown men are in the ring dressed in wrestling attire, as Vince McMahon makes his way to the ring. He says a main event worth being on WrestleMania will take place tonight: Triple H vs. Mr. McMahon. McMahon says he guarantees victory, he says actions speak louder than words. Vince then shows a video package of every time he has beaten or gotten the best of Triple H. He says the three men represent three different fighting styles; one is an amateur wrestler, one is a karate champion and the other is a sumo champion. Vince says he is going to put on a demonstration. He takes off his jacket and tie; the three men get ready to compete, Vince then backs off and brings out Umaga to take on the guys. Umaga demolishes them all easily. He has a new huge tattoo on his back.

6 Man Tag Team Match " Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy, Brian Kendrick & Paul London vs. Shelton Benjamin and World Tag Team Champions Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
The babyfaces have the advantage early, heels soon take control, Hardy tagged in and dominates Cade. London takes out Benjamin on the outside, Kendrick knocks down Murdoch and hits the Sliced Bread #2 on Cade, Hardy then hits the Swanton on Cade for the victory.

- Randy Orton is with us via satellite. He says he opted not to be at Raw tonight due to Cena’s current state of mind. We are shown the footage of Randy attacking Mr. Cena. Orton says “like father, like son.” He finishes by telling the fans the next time they see him on Raw, he will be WWE Champion.

- A video package of the WWE Diva hopefuls competing in an Obstacle Course is shown.

- Backstage William Regal is looking for Hornswoggle. He runs into The Highlanders and asks them why they turned down a match against London & Kendrick tonight. They said the only match they are interested in is a match for the World Tag Team Championships. Rory says they came to the WWE to become Tag Champs, and that’s what they are going to do whether Regal likes it or not.

Cody Rhodes vs. Hardcore Holly
Holly sneaks in an Alabama Slam for the victory, Holly stares at Cody for a while before shaking his head and walking away.

- Beth Phoenix makes her way to the ring, Lilian goes to leave but Beth stops and asks her to have a practice at announcing Beth as the new Women’s Champio., Lilian does but adds “assuming you can beat Candice” on the end of it. Beth grabs Lilian by the throat, Candice Michelle makes the save and knocks Beth from the ring, both women stare each other down.

Mr. McMahon vs. Triple H
Before Triple H comes out, McMahon shows the video of Triple H taking out Umaga with the sledgehammer last month. McMahon cuts H’s entrance short and yells to get on with fighting, McMahon realizes there is no referee so he yells for one, out comes Carlito with a referee shirt on, he will be the official. McMahon slaps H before the bell rings. The match officially starts and Vince keeps running from the ring, H eventually catches Vince and pummels him on the outside, Carlito gets in H’s face and shoves him, H shoves him back and puts McMahon in the ring, he goes for the Pedigree but Carlito hits the Backstabber on HHH, he puts Vince on top and tries to fast count H down but he manages to kick out. Triple H then low blows Vince and attacks Carlito, Carlito disqualifies HHH giving Vince the win for the 2nd week in a row.

Umaga makes his way to the ring and he and HHH go at it, Umaga eventually gets the advantage hitting HHH with his running turnbuckle move, Umaga seta up H for the Samoan Spike but Carlito decides to knock H from the ring, Umaga is angry with Carlito and yells at him, Carlito backs up the ramp allowing H time to recover, he has his sledgehammer in hand, Umaga looks to not be backing down but Vince persuades him to leave it until No Mercy. Triple H is stood in the ring yelling at Vince and Umaga.

- Todd Grisham interviews John Cena backstage, he acknowledges what some fans say about him (We’ve Cena Nuff and Cena Sucks) Cena says “they” can say what they like. At No Mercy he will not stay down, no matter what Orton hits him with he will keep getting up and at No Mercy he will give them something “they” won’t forget.

Melina vs. Mickie James
Melina has the advantage, she sets up Mickie for a reverse-DDT but starts screaming, we then see it’s because Hornswoggle has popped his head up through the ring skirt, this distraction allows Mickie to roll up Melina for the win. After the match Melina chases Hornswoggle under the ring, they are under there for a few seconds until Hornswoggle comes out the other side with Melina’s top in his hands! He then goes back under and Melina can be heard screaming from under the ring, he then comes back out with Melina’s wrestling tights! Hornswoggle skips away up the ramp as Melina has her head popped out the side of the ring skirt screaming at Hornswoggle to give her her clothes back!

WWE Champion John Cena vs. Mr. Kennedy
Cena wins with the STFU. After the match Randy Orton appears behind Cena and RKO’s him, he then takes Cena to the outside and hits him with the steel steps. He then puts Cena on the announce table and RKO’s him on it, Cena rolls onto the floor, Orton gets in Cena’s face and yells 1 to 10, Cena fails to respond. Orton gets in the ring and stares down at Cena with a sadistic look.

Here's the official WWE RAW preview for tonight, courtesy of WWE.com...

After teaming with Carlito to defeat Triple H in a Handicap Steel Cage Match last week, Mr. McMahon felt a little cocky… maybe a little too cocky. He said he had The Game’s number. Fans will find out whether the Chairman really has game when he takes on The Cerebral Assassin one-on-one.

Also, in other Raw news, Randy Orton continues to indulge in mind games with John Cena and his family. In an ominous taped message to the WWE Champion, the conniving challenger implored Cena to bring his father to next week’s Raw so that Mr. Cena might see a preview of what will happen to his son at their upcoming Last Man Standing Match at No Mercy on Oct. 7.

What insidious psychological trap is Orton laying this time?

In tag team action last week, The Highlanders showed that their patience has worn incredibly thin over their lack of championship opportunities. The unpredictable Scottish cousins assailed Paul London & Brian Kendrick just as the duo were positioned to score the pinfall over World Tag Team Champions Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch.

The surprise attack was an effort to torpedo their chances at another title match. Will The Highlanders naked ambition continue to make trouble for London & Kendrick on their quest for the gold? Can the high-flyers handle any other surprises the Scots have hidden up their kilts?

The following report is courtesy of lordsofpain.net...

Jonathan Coachman is already in the ring. Blue-shirted Security surrounds the ring. A recap of the events from the past few weeks is shown. He introduces Mr. McMahon and he struts down to the ring.

McMahon gets on the mic and says he is tired of Triple H. Every week he makes a fool out of McMahon. So tonight, Triple H will face Carlito in a Steel Cage. But Carlito won't be alone. He will be teaming up...with Vincent Kennedy McMahon. He vows to win that match.

He then calls out his son Hornswaggle. Vince gets on one knee and apologizes to Hornswaggle. They say they love each other, and they hug. McMahon also has a surprise for Hornswaggle. He has set up a date for him. With Melina! Melina comes down and says she thinks he's really cute. Hornswaggle jumps on her and rolls around. McMahon tells them to go out and get a beer.

Coach says even though Regal is set to come back next week, he thinks McMahon should make him permanent GM. Then Cena's music hits. Cena comes down to the ring and he looks like he means business. He starts throwing chairs into the ring. Coach says if he touches himself or McMahon, Cena will be stripped of the WWE title. Cena attacks both of them.

McMahon says there will be a ceremony tonight, and it's up to Coach whether or not Cena will keep the title.

Match One: Cody Rhodes vs. Hardcore Holly
Holly talks a little trash before the match gets under way. He says Cody has to earn his respect. The bell rings. They lock up, side headlock by holly. Off the ropes, shoulder tackle. Top wristlock by Cody Rhodes. Armdrag takeover by Cody. Attempt at a sunset flip, Holly tries to punch out of it, but Cody gets a 2 count. Chops in the corner from Holly. They exchange rights but Holly gets the better of the exchange. More chops. Snapmare into a chinlock. Some elbows from Cody but a clubbing blow from Holly. Back suplex attmpt by Holly by Cody lands on his feet. Side russian legsweep and a nearfall. Crossbody block from Cody. 2 count, clothesline. Dropkick. Holly blocks Cody in the corner. Cody attempts a springboard move but Holly tosses him aside. Alabama Slam. And the 1,2,3.
Winner: Hardcore Holly

Match Two: Santino Marella vs Ron Simmons
They lock up and Santino forces the break in the corner. Some rights from Simmons A lot of them. irish whip, Santino drops down and rolls out of the ring. Simmons follows him outside but Santino runs and stomps Simmons upon entering the ring. Drops some elbows and knees on the back of Ron Simmons. Locks on a modified camel clutch. Some clubbing forearms to the back of Ron Simmons. Santino attempts to irish whip Simmons. Santino ducks the clothesline. Shoulder tackle by Simmons. Clothesline. Simmong goes for a powerslam but Santino slips out and leaves the ring. He grabs Maria and just leaves.
Winner: Ron Simmons by count out

Backstage, Melina is texting and Jillian approaches her. She says Hornswaggle is a disgusting midget. Melina confesses that Coach said that if she went on a date with him, she'd get a Women's Title shot.

Match thre: Triple H vs Carlito and Mr. McMahon in a Steel Cage
McMahon and Carlito discuss their gameplan before entering the cage. Carlito and Mcmahon approach Triple H. Carlito runs at him and McMAhon hightails it. Triple H grabs McMahon but both them beat him down. He fights them off. He works on Carlito and McMAhon tries to escape the door. Carlito attacks Trips from behind. McMahon tries to climb out of the cage. Trips pulls him off the ropes and crotches him on the top rope

Carlito and HHH fight back and forth. McMahon is still out of it. High knee from Triple H. Knee lift. Carlito is down. Triple H slams McMAhon into the cage a couple times. He then throws Carlito into McMahon into the Cage. HHH crotchchops McMahon and goes for the Pedigree but receives a Backstabber for his troubles. McMAhon crawls for the cage. HHH throws Carlito into the cage. Triple H drags McMAhon into the ring at the last second. Carlito is on the attack again. Vince is now trying to climb out of the cage again. Triple H and McMahon fight it out on the top briefly, but ultimately, Carlito grabs Triple H's leg and McMahon makes it out.
Winners:Carlito and Mr. McMahon

Match Four: Cade and Murdoch vs London and Kendrick
Backbreaker from Cade on London. Tags in Murdoch. Murdoch drops some knees on London. Abdominal stretch. Lodong fights out and hits a hurricanrana. He tags in Kendrick and Kendrick goes wild. Dropkicks, backboby drop, leg lariat. Nearfall. Plancha from London onto Cade. Sliced Bread #2 on Murdoch. 1,2, but the Highlanders attack London and Kendrick.
Winners: London and Kendrick by DQ

Continue Reading...

Here is the official WWE RAW preview for tonight...

Carlito hovered around the ring, waiting for his chance to strike. He watched as Triple H took on World Tag Team Champions Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch in a Handicap Match. When he spotted his opportunity, the Caribbean Bad Apple attacked from behind in an attempt to avenge his loss to The Game at Unforgiven.

Carlito is still convinced he can beat the Cerebral Assassin anytime, and Monday, he’ll have a chance to prove it in a Cage Match.

After last Monday, John Cena’s rage has reached new levels. And who can blame him after acting General Manager Jonathan Coachman arranged a match between Randy Orton and Cena’s father? Handcuffed to the ring ropes, the WWE Champion watched helplessly as Orton administered a devastating RKO to the elder Cena before The Champ was able to break free.

How will events play out next Monday night as the hatred between Cena and Orton reaches the boiling point on the way to their Last Man Standing Match at No Mercy on Oct. 7?

Speaking of hard feelings, how will Mr. McMahon’s manifest themselves this week? The Chairman continues to build walls between himself and his son, Hornswoggle. Can the leprechaun break through to his father, or will Mr. McMahon continue to freeze him out?

Also, Beth Phoenix showed last week that she’s primed for another opportunity at the Women’s Championship. After Candice won her tag team match with Mickie James, the Glamazon entered the ring carrying the Women’s Championship belt. She draped the gold over Candice’s shoulder and shoved the Candy-coated WWE Diva, a clear warning that she means business.

After coming so close to capturing the gold at Unforgiven, just how far is Phoenix willing to go for another opportunity at the title?

The following report is courtesy of lordsofpain.net...

John Cena makes his way down to the ring and grabs the mic. He says that he knows some people are upset with him; that he hasn't been himself lately. He says he's sorry, and although he's had alot of pent up aggression lately, tonight he feels fabulous. The Champ says everything is going to be okay, because last night he lost to Randy Orton. Cena says thank you to his Dad, for being brave and making him the proudest son on the face of the earth. He also thanks Randy Orton, because Orton has made him put into perspective the things in life that are important, and that he's stupid enough to want a rematch. The most important Thank You is to Jonathan Coachman, who booked the last man standing match at No Mercy. While he's talking about No Mercy, Coach's music hits!

Coach says Cena shouldn't be thanking him for making that match, he should be thanking him that he still has a job after his father attacked a WWE Superstar and Cena put his hands on him. Coach says just like Cena feels he got revenge last night, Coach is allowing Orton to feel the same. Tonight, Orton vs. Cena, right here, tonight! Coach met with Cena's father this morning, and informed him that he may have stripping Cena of the title. Cena's father pleaded with Coach not to do it, and told Coach that he'd do anything to prevent Cena from losing the title. Coach then says that tonight, it's not Randy Orton vs. the Champ John Cena, it's Randy Orton vs. Mr. Cena, John's Father! Cena is beside himself as Raw goes to a commercial...

Jeff Hardy (c) v. Shelton Benjamin, for the IC Title
Back and forth and then Shelton in control over Hardy in the ring. Hardy starts to power out but gets caught with a face first back drop by Shelton. Hardy now down in the corner, and is hit with a running knee to the face by Shelton. Neckbreaker by Benjamin gets a 2 count, and follows that ujp with a few headbutts and a sleeperhold. Jeff powers out, but Shelton catches him once again, and gets a 2 count. Jeff stumbles to his feet, and ducks when Shelton goes for a kick. Both men clothesline each other, get an 8 count before they get back up. Hardy hits the whisper in the wind, and goes for the twist of fate, but Shelton gets out of it and hits a backbreaker for another 2 count. Shelton in the corner, but moves, and Jeff goes face first into the turnbuckle, only to turn around and be caught in a russian legsweep. Then, Shelton hits a reverse DDT on Hardy for yet another 2 count. Hardy to the top rope, Shelton pounces up there, but gets pushed off, and Jeff follows up with a Swanton for the win.
Winner: Jeff Hardy

Next, we have Vince McMahon in a limo. Coach gets in the limo and tells Vince that it's going to be a great night. Vince doesn't care; he only cares about his predicament. Coach says it's not going to last much longer; he's taken care of everything, and after tonight, Vince won't have to worry about him anymore. They show Hornswoggle in a car-seat, and Vince says he has to sit there because he's an infant, and that's the law. Hornswoggle gets out of the seat and chases Coach out of the Limo. Pretty funny segment.

Then we have Santino outside of the Diva's locker room. Jillian Hall comes out, and they put in a plug for the Condemned, and say something about Britney Spears. Then Santino says he can't believe he used to pleasure himself to Britney Spears.

Vince and Coach are walking in the back when they hear irish music playing. Vince says it's coming from his office; Vince's office is covered in Irish stuff. Vince says this was all on Coach. Coach says that when he finds him, he'll handle this. Vince tells Coach to find him. Hornswoggle shows up in the background, says "hi Dad!" and takes off running. Coach runs after him. Now, there's a Horse with a Unicorn attachment.

Daivari v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Daivari goes for his flag, but Hacksaw pulls him down and delivers a bodyslam to Daivari. Daivari stops Hacksaw from getting the US flag, and then starts pounding away on Duggan. Daivari goes for the flag, but Hacksaw stops him again by holding his legs. This time, Daivari gets all the way to the top, but Hacksaw pulls him down and Daivari racks himself on the turnbuckle. Duggan heads over to his flag, and Daivari meets him at the top rope. Hacksaw knocks Daivari from the top turnbuckle to the outside of the ring, and grabs the flag for the victory!
Winner: Hacksaw Jim Duggan

In the back, Cody Rhodes begs Coach to let him fight Orton instead of Cena's father. Coach says no, and walks away, only to run face first into Cena. Cena says if he doesn't call off the match, he will not be held responsible for what happens tonight. Coach says that Cena will have a match tonight, against an opponent of Coach's choice. If Cena wins, he'll cancel the match between Orton and his father. Cena's fate is in his hands.

After the break, Vince's music hits and the chairman comes down to the ring and grabs a mic. He says that we are all surprised that his grapefruits produced Hornswoggle. He says that he doesn't want us to think he's not proud of his new son, and that he's compassionate. He says he wants to welcome his new son into his family, and he wants us to do the same. Vince introduces Hornswoggle, who comes down to the ring with an Irish jig theme song. He dances around the ring, and Vince is annoyed, telling him repeatedly to stop dancing. Vince asks if he's happy to be a McMahon. Vince says that when, if, he dies, that Hornswoggle will come into a lot of money. Vince tells him that money is not everything, and that life is really about love and compassion. Vince will open his heart tonight and do something that Hornswoggle will appreciate. Vince tells him that he has some legal papers, and that he's putting Hornswoggle up for adoption. Hornswoggle looks crushed.

Vince announces the new parents, who come out to the ring with an attorney. Alice and Ed are their names, apparently. Ed says that they've waited years for a little boy, and that Hornswoggle is everything Vince said he'd be. Alice says that they'll love Hornswoggle so much. Hornswoggle looks like he's about to cry. Vince tells him, rather cruelly, to say hello to his new dad. Hornswoggle pulls Ed's pants down, and begins to attack him. Ed ditches the ring, and Vince tells him to come back and sign the legal papers. Vince tries to tell Alice that Hornswoggle has never done something like this before, but the little guy attacks Alice from behind, biting her in the...well...behind. Ed and Alice run away with their lawyer close behind. Vince flips out on Hornswoggle, telling him to get out of his life, and to stay away from him. He then tells Hornswoggle to crawl back under his rock. Hornswoggle slowly walks up the ramp, crying. Vince tells the crowd that they would have done the same thing in that position.

Suddenly, Triple H's music hits, and the Game looks like he's got something to say. Vince asks what he's doing here. Triple H says that Vince seems mad that he's out here, considering he went through a lot of trouble to decorate Vince's office. He says it's not easy to find a unicorn in Nashville. He says that he knew Vince slept with some trolls in his day, but he didn't know Vince slept with elves, fairies, and hobgoblins too. Vince says that he doesn't sleep with fairies, to which Triple H replies that's not what he read on the internet. He wonders why Vince didn't see this coming, seeing as Vince is short-tempered, short-sighted, and has a microscopic penis. Vince asks if he's finished, and Triple H says that's what Hornswoggle's mom said to Vince. He asks if Vince did it with Hornswoggle's mom on the Yellow Brick Road or if he got her to Smurf Village first. He says that Vince is obviously upset, and that he just has one quick question. He asks Vince if Hornswoggle's mom was magically delicious. Vince says that he's got some problems, but not as big as Triple H's. Vince introduces Triple H's opponents for the night...Cade and Murdoch. We go to break as Cade and Murdoch make their way to the ring.

Triple H vs. Cade and Murdoch
We come back from the break to Murdoch with a side headlock on Triple H. Triple H is fighting out, but Murdoch manages to tag Cade, and they try a double team. Triple H lands a clothesline to both Cade and Murdoch and tosses both men out of the ring. Carlito now comes out and stands at the top of the entrance ramp. Cade manages to hit a swinging neckbreaker, and works over Triple H a little, before tagging in Murdoch. After a double team move Murdoch pounds away on Triple H, hitting some nice shots in the corner. Murdoch climbs the ropes, and hits a move that a man of his stature shouldn't do. Murdoch tags in Cade, who works on Triple H some more, eventually locking in a neck vice.

Continue Reading...

Here is the official preview for tonight's Monday Night RAW...

This week, the wait is over. Mr. McMahon and the rest of the world will finally learn the identity of the Chairman’s illegitimate son.

Last week, a lawyer for the woman who has filed a paternity suit against Mr. McMahon revealed only one clue about his illegitimate son: “Things are looking up.” Will Mr. McMahon beam with pride when his offspring’s identity is revealed? Or will he find himself cursing his considerable “grapefruits”? And will Mr. Kennedy, who claimed to be the Chairman’s bastard son last week, have anything to say as this mystery unfolds?

Raw General Manager William Regal felt WWE Champion John Cena’s wrath after he announced a title rematch at Unforgiven between Cena and his tormentor Randy Orton, who attacked The Champ’s father the previous week. Will Cena feel any ramifications for his attack? And will his rage over his father’s plight manifest itself again this week?

Triple H proved last week that his Game hasn’t lost a step, apparently putting Umaga on the shelf after bludgeoning him with a sledgehammer during a Handicap Match with the Samoan Bulldozer and Carlito. With Carlito anxious to exact revenge against Triple H for ruining his Cabana with Mr. McMahon, what measures will the Caribbean Bad Apple take against the King of Kings?

In an impressive show of aerial artistry, Jeff Hardy was able to snatch the Intercontinental Championship from between the teeth of Umaga. What awaits "The Rainbow-haired Warrior” next week on Raw? Will the high-flyer face a challenge to his title?

Thanks to wrestleview.com for the following report...

Jeff Hardy def. Umaga
- Very impressive pop for Jeff Hardy, crowd was very against Umaga from start, quick finish as Hardy knocks Umaga from top rope to score a quick pin.

- Backstage segment featuring Carlito and Mr. McMahon.

- Backstage segment featuring Linda and Stephanie McMahon, ending with Melina getting slapped by Linda.

Santino Marella and Maria enter ring to build heat with Ron Simmons. Crowd was very against Santino, he is becoming a very good heel.

Beth Phoenix def. Maria
- Absolutely ridiculous match, Beth gets the victory in just a few moments.

In-Ring Segment featuring William Regal, John Cena, and Randy Orton.
- Orton was not in attendance (crowd was very unhappy), Orton is granted a rematch at Unforgiven. Cena enters the ring only to get real heat from the crowd and proceed to destroy Regal.

#1 Contenders Match For Tag Titles: London & Kendrick def. World's Greatest Tag Team
- Cade & Murdoch join commentary. Shelton has bleached blonde hair! Big pop for London & Kendrick, great in ring action back and forth from both teams. Many chants for Cryme Tyme, most fans unaware of their release.

Cody Rhodes & Mickie James def. Davari & Jillian Hall
- Worst match of the evening, most fans made a trip to the bathroom, just an absolutely pointless match.

Triple H vs Carlito & Umaga goes to No Contest
- Match ended quickly...no real winner determined. Triple H got hot and Carlito ran to the back leaving Umaga to get served by Triple H courtesy of a few nasty sledge hammer blows. Carlito has a new hair style, looks more aggressive.

Vince McMahon in Ring Segment
- Mr. McMahon enters ring and does a few minutes on the mic pushing the greediness of his family only to have each family member come out and confront him. Lots of KENNEDY chants during the segment, finally to be rewarded with Kennedy himself. Kennedy claims to be Vince's son and they end up embracing. Kennedy does MISSSSTER KENNNNNNEDY.....MCMAHON! Kennedy goes back and forth with Stephanie. Then, an attorney for the mother of Mr McMahon's son comes out and states Kennedy is not McMahon's son as the show goes off the air.