The following report is courtesy of lordsofpain.net...
We begin with Kennedy already in the ring. He puts over Cyber Sunday, saying that everyone has an opportunity to make history by choosing who will face Randy Orton for the WWE Championship. On the one hand, you have IC Champ Jeff Hardy. Hardy is like Hilary Clinton (mad boos), what with the famous last name and blonde hair. Jeff can't get the job done because like Hilary, he has no testicles. On the other hand, you have Shawn Michaels. Shawn is like Rudy Giuliani. Both talk big and have good resumes, but both live in the past.
Kennedy asks Shawn what he's done for him lately, because it's nowhere near as impressive as what he's done over the past two years: US Champ, Money in the Bank, beating Rey, Batista, and even The Undertaker. So to paraphrase a famous politician, "Ask not what Mr. Kennedy can do for you, but what you can do for Mr. Kennedy." If elected, Kennedy will win the title, and there will be a new Champion... Mr. Kennedy.
Kennedy is interrupted with a "Yo! Kennedy, over here, dude." Jeff Hardy is standing in the crowd. Jeff says Kennedy's approval rating sucks. Kennedy says that Jeff does not want to debate Kennedy - his success speaks for itself. Jeff makes his way through the fans as Kennedy insults the crowd and accuses Jeff of begging for votes. Jeff says Kennedy failed when he tried to be a McMahon, and failed when he tried to beat Jeff Hardy, and come Cyber Sunday, he'll fail again. Jeff says there's one vote he can win, and asks the crowd how many people want to see him beat the holy hell out of Kennedy right now. The crowd cheers, and Hardy jumps in the ring, but Orton comes down and they team up on Hardy. HBK comes down and takes out Orton before Orton can get the big kick off, and Hardy clotheslines Kennedy out of the ring. Hardy is left standing in the ring with his music playing.
Mickie James, London, and Kendrick v. Melina, Cade, and Murdoch
Lance Cade starts out against Paul London. London up early with a headlock takeover, but Cade throws him into the ropes and hits a shoulderblock. Cade in control until London hits a crossbody, and tags in Kendrick for a doubleteam sunset flip that gets a 2 count. London is tagged back in, and he hits an axehandle on to Cades waiting arm. London tags Kendrick back in and he does the same. Kendrick tags Mickie, which brings in Melina. Mickie with a few kicks that leave Melina scrambling to tag Murdoch. Kendrick comes in to meat him and Murdoch hits a few moves and tags in Cade. Cade takes control, hits a few knees, and tags in Murdoch. Double-team Legdrop on Kendrick, but only gets a two count. Murdoch tags back in Cade, and Cade gets met with a dropkick by Kendrick.
Cade tags in Murdoch, and Kendrick leaps and tags in London. London hits a spinning heel kick, but gets interrupted at the pinfall attempt when Lance Cade comes in and breaks everything up. Murdoch gets up, shoves Mickie down, and gets ready to hit a double team move on London. Mickie jumps back in and eliminates Melina with a Thesz press, when a charging Cade accidentally hits Murdoch with a clothesline, who then falls out of the ring. London hits a standing shooting star on Murdoch, and gets the pin. They celebrate, but Mickie looks cautious, as if something happened that wasn't supposed to happen.
Winners: Kendrick, London, and Mickie
Cody is in the back reading the new WWE Magazine, when Shelton and Haas come up to him and make fun of him for losing to Bob Holly. Shelton says the good news is that he won't be getting beaten up by Bob tonight, but he'll still be beaten up by Shelton in their match. Cody says the difference is that he actually respects Bob Holly, and makes fun of Shelton's blonde hair. Shelton says after tonight, Cody should dye his hair blonde, so he can be a younger, less talented, skinnier, uglier version of his father. As they walk away, Haas snaps his fingers and says "Oh Snap!"
Coach and Regal are talking. Apparently Vince is out of the country, and Coach is asking for a match against Hornswoggle tonight. Regal says Vince probably set up Coach to get embarassed last week. Coach says Vince isn't sane anymore, because he things Hornswoggle is a child. By booking the match tonight, Regal is doing a favor to the entire McMahon family, giving them that much more inheritance if Hornswoggle is eliminated. Regal agrees to the match, but Coach says he isn't going to fight Hornswoggle... but Umaga will. Regal thinks about it, and walks away.
Cody Rhodes v. Shelton Benjamin
Shelton starts off wiht a kick to the midsection, and pounds Cody in the corner. Shelton starts working on Cody's left leg, delivering stomps and other impact moves. Rhodes fights back up, but a headlock is countered by Shelton, and Benjamin is in control again. Shelton catches a knee in the stomach, and then hits a bulldog from the corner, garnering a 2 count. Haas distracts Cody, and Shelton goes for a roll-up, but Cody rolls it back over and gets a surprise three count.
Haas and Benjamin hit the ring and start pounding Rhodes, but Hardcore Holly comes in a makes the save. The new team stands tall as the World's Greatest Tag Team make their way out of there.
Winner: Cody Rhodes
D.H. Smith v. Carlito
Carlito up early with a wristlock, but Smith counters, only to get kicked by Carlito. Shoulderblock by Smith, and a huge belly to belly by Smith. Carlito gets on the apron and hits a springboard dropkick, followed by a near-fall. In the corner, Carlito hits Smith HARD. Scoop-slam, and a 2 Count for Carlito. Carlito with a knee stretch to Smith's back, but Smith powers out, only to get caught with a hard clothesline, and a 2 count. Carlito pounds away on Smith, and lock in a headlock. Smith brings Carlito to the corner, gets out, and hits a few dropkicks and a northern lights suplex, but gets a 2 count. Carlito hits a back elbow off the second row, but only gets a two count. Carlito into the turnbuckle, and kicks up to get behind Smith, but gets caught. Smith hits a running powerslam for the win!
Winner: D.H. Smith
Umaga comes down to the ring, accompanied by Coach. He is supposed to take on Hornswoggle. Hornswoggle slides out from under the ring, looking rather reluctant to do this match with Umaga. This should be interesting. Coach keeps telling Hornswoggle to get in the ring. Hornswoggle jumps off the apron and runs up th ramp, as Coach and Umaga look on. Triple H's music hits, and the Game comes out to a huge pop. He makes his way to the ring, with Umaga looking ready. The two start to fight, throwing lefts and rights at each other. Triple H hits a Lou Thesz Press, and starts pounding Umaga. Referees hit the ring and try to pull the two apart, but the two keep fighting.
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