WWE RAW Results News (Page 7)

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The opened with WWE Champion John Cena making his way to the ring to a mixed reaction. Cena grabbed a mic and, speaking over a wild crowd that prevented him from talking for a long period, pronounced that the “Champ is here.” HBK came out at that point, flashed the DX sign, and made his way to the ring to join his Wrestlemania 23 main-event opponent. Michaels, sporting a bandage on his forehead, grabbed a mic and said that, indeed, the champ was here. He said it was like living a bad dream for him to be out here with Cena. He said that this was usually the time, the day after Mania, where he comes out and talks about how awesome a match he had at Mania. HBK said that their match wasn’t about egos, mind games, or who got cheered/booed…it was about winning and losing.

Cena won, HBK lost…and Shawn Michaels doesn’t like it. He said he was sick and tired of having to come out, look guys in eye, shake their hand, and lie to himself by calling the other guy the better man. That, according to Michaels, ends tonight. He said that Cena may have won last night, but he is not the better man. Cena said that if HBK wanted to get angry, then that’s fine…but if he wants to challenge his manhood, then his answer to that challenge is “any time, any place.” HBK said he wasn’t currently busy. At that point, Coach made his presence felt on the entrance ramp. He said that HBK vs. Cena II would not take place tonight. Rather, they would be defending the World Tag titles. Coach called the other brands and arranged for them to face 9 other teams in a 20-man, over-the-top rope battle royal, w/the tag titles on the line.

Match 1: 10-Team Battle Royal- World Tag Champions HBK and John Cena vs. King Booker and Finlay (w/ Sharmell) vs. RVD and Sabu vs. Kenny and Chris Masters vs. Cryme Tyme vs. Highlanders vs. Burke and Striker vs. Deuce and Domino vs. Eugene and Hacksaw Jim Duggan
- The match began during a commercial break. Back to live action, Kenny Dykstra and Chris Masters were eliminated when Kenny got thrown over the top rope and to the floor. Masters was upset that he wasn’t able to participate anymore. Cryme Tyme were eliminated soon after by Deuce and Domino. Eugene and Hacksaw, meanwhile, waged war with Finlay and King Book. The Highlanders were scattered about the ring, as well. Elijah Burke connected with a nice dropkick that sent Eugene out of the ring. Burke went on to help save Booker from near elimination by HBK. Book and Finlay proceeded to double team Robbie.

Deuce took out Rory with a nice leg scissor. Matt Striker and his partner, Burke, tried to eliminate HBK, but Michaels escaped the predicament and regained control of the New Breed members. Unfortunately, Deuce and Domino singled Michaels out and took him down with a leg lariat. Cena came to his partner’s aid and eliminated them. Finlay tossed Matt Striker, while Booker tossed RVD. So, it came down to HBK/Cena and Finlay/Booker. The SD roster members dominated, as the crowd chanted for Cena. The champ tried to fight back, but the double team proved to be too much for him. Cena nearly got eliminated by Finlay, but hung on for dear life. Finlay Booker then held Cena so that Finlay could give him a clothesline, but the Irishman missed and hit Booker. The finish came when Cena tossed Finlay over the top rope. Finlay landed on the apron, but HBK gave him the super kick to knock him off. HBK and Cena retained at an estimated 6:18.

Coach returned and announced a second tag team battle royal w/ 9 new teams…

Match 2: 10-team Battle Royal- World Tag Champs Cena and HBK vs. The Hardys vs. WWE Tag Team Champions London and Kendrick vs. Val Venis and Viscera vs. Chavo Guerrero and Gregory Helms vs. Tommy Dreamer and Sandman vs. Kevin Thorne and Marcus Cor Von vs. Johnny Nitro and Miz vs. William Regal and Dave Taylor vs. Murdoch and Cade
- Everybody seemed to gang up on Viscera to start the match. Venis and Viscera were eliminated when Venis got tossed. Johnny Nitro was teaming with the Miz in an interpromotional duo. Kevin Thorne attacked HBK. Regal and Taylor were eliminated when Dreamer tossed Regal. Cena nearly got ousted by Chavo and Helms, but managed to stay in the ring. Dreamer got eliminated by Murdoch and Cade. We then got a dreaded mid-match commercial break, but I guess that was to be expected. Back from the break, Jeff Hardy and John Cena were fighting off separate elimination attempts. Nitro and Miz nearly had Cena tossed over the top, but HBK hit Nitro with Sweet Chin Music and sent him tumbling to elimination.

Michaels then eliminated Cena, meaning that the tag titles were up for grabs. Cena couldn’t believe it. Michaels walked away with a cocky smile on his face and motioned that there was only one gold. Meanwhile, London hit a double boot on Helms. Kendrick proceeded to eliminate Chavo, but in doing so eliminated himself. The Hardys and Cade/Murdoch were the final two teams. Jeff and Matt took control and tried for some tandem offense. However, Cade and Murdoch gained momentum and hit an inverted atomic drop and big boot combo. They proceeded to try and eliminate Jeff, but Matt made the save. Matt cleaned house and hit the Side Effect on Murdoch. He then connected with the Twist of Fate on Cade. From opposite sides of the ring, the Hardys each scored with leg drops off the second rope. Murdoch nearly got eliminated, but hung on for dear life. Cade nearly got eliminated, too, but also held on. The finish came when Matt eliminated Cade, then set up Jeff for Poetry in Motion to finish off Murdoch. The Hardys became World Tag Champs at 12:18.

Backstage, Todd Grisham interviewed HBK about his earlier actions. HBK said he wanted a shot at the WWE title and wanted Cena really clear on that matter. Randy Orton showed up and said that Cena knows he can beat HBK, but he can’t beat Orton. HBK said that neither Cena nor Orton were better than him. Orton said we’d have to wait and see…

Backstage, Vince McMahon, from behind the camera, shouted at Coach to take him out to the ring. They came across Maria and Candice Michelle on their way to the ring. The girls tried to tell him that he looked fine, but when he came across Eugene, he got laughed at. Ron Simmons showed up and gave us his weekly, “Damn!” Viscera and Venis had a nice laugh, too…

The bald headed Vince McMahon came to the ring with a hat on. He asked if the crowd thought he was going to come out and eat a piece of humble pie…if they thought it was humorous that he was a bald billionaire…if they enjoy the humiliation of others. Vince said that last night was a travesty, thanks to Stone Cold Steve Austin. He said that had it not been for Austin, Trump would be the one with no hair. The crowd responded with a “You Suck” chant. Vince said that he was wiping the slate clean and changing the record books so that his loss in the Battle of the Billionaires didn’t exist.

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The show opened with Coach in the ring, alerting us to the fact that the Lashley-McMahon match is No-DQ. Also, if anyone interferes in the match, they will be fined and suspended. At that point, Stone Cold Steve Austin made his way to the ring. After his usual 4-post posing session, Austin grabbed a mic and told us a story about his past week in Texas. He said that he got a truck full of presents from Donald Trump. Coach interrupted and said that those actions were typical Trump. Austin interrupted right back and said that he told the delivery man who brought all the presents to take them back to NYC. The delivery guy told Austin that the presents were from Stamford, CT. Thus, it would seem as if McMahon sent Austin gifts and addressed them from Trump.

Austin wanted to know if Vince thought he was stupid. He wanted to know if everyone thought he should go ahead and shave McMahon’s head bald. Coach said that it was him, not McMahon, who sent the gifts. Austin made it clear that no one would play games with him…not here and not at Wrestlemania 23. He said that if either superstar didn’t listen to him on Sunday, then he’d whoop their ass. Coach said he got the picture, so often decided to leave. However, Coach tried kissing Austin’s ass, saying that bald was beautiful and he didn’t know why Trump and McMahon were so worked up over the thought of losing their hair. Austin gave Coach the Stunner and celebrated with a beer bash.

Backstage, Austin got in his big truck and tried to leave. However, a limo blocked his way. After some horn honking, Vince popped up out of the sunroof of the limo and asked who the hell…Before he could get the whole sentence out, he realized it was Austin and apologized on behalf of his driver. Austin flipped him the bird. McMahon got out of the limo and proceeded to drag and beat the crap out of his limo driver. He fired him…

Match 1: Playboy Cover Girls (Ashley, Torrie, and Candice) vs. Women’s Champ Melina, Victoria, and Jillian
- (It was noted prior to the match that the women’s title match this Sunday would be a Lumberjill match, featuring all the other WWE Divas surrounding the ring). Candice scored with an early spinning wheel kick, but Melina and the heels took over soon after when Victoria placed Candice in the tree of woe. Jillian showed some athleticism in attempting a handstand into a leg drop, but Candice moved out of the way. Ashley got the lukewarm tag and used a tilt-a-whirl head scissor to take down Jillian. She followed with a hurricanrana on Victoria. The finish came when Ashley used a Victory Roll to pin Jillian. The Playboy Cover Girls picked up the win.

Match 2: CM Punk vs. Kenny Dykstra
- Kenny took control right off the bat, as the crowd chanted for Punk. Punk came back quickly with a Jericho-esque double underhook into a backbreaker. Kenny regained momentum when he knocked Punk off the top rope and sent him crashing hard to the mat. The crowd got strongly behind Punk, but Kenny kept on him with a jumping back elbow smash. Though Kenny continued to dominate, the crowd again chanted for CM Punk. Punk eventually kneed his way out of a suplex and scored with a jumping back kick to finally gain some momentum. The Straight Edge Extremist followed with a springboard clothesline and a bulldog. The finish came when Punk defeated Kenny nailing Go To Sleep.

Immediately after the preceding match, Edge did a backstage interview on the Titantron to hype his Cutting Edge segment...which is next!

Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, CM Punk, Finlay, King Booker, Kennedy, and Randy Orton were guests on the Cutting Edge. The camera continually cut back and forth b/t Edge and Orton. The Rated-R Superstar welcomed us all to the Cutting Edge and reminded everyone that the Money in the Bank match returns to this Sunday. He also reminded everyone of his ladder match victories and his undefeated Wrestlemania record. One by one, he started to make his way around the ring interviewing his opponents. Matt Hardy was up first. Hardy reminded Edge that he had a lot of ladder match victories, as well. Edge said he was surprised that Hardy was even booked on the card.

Booker was next, and he declared that his title reign was very successful. Finlay interrupted and said he was tired of the verbal diarrhea. Orton grabbed the mic and talked about how Edge had been ducking out of matches for the last month. Kennedy backed him up, but then noted that he’d be the one winning. He tried to do his usual schtick, but Edge grabbed the mic back and said that it was real nice that he could repeat his name. Edge turned his attention to Jeff Hardy, who the Rated-R Superstar mocked and taunted. Jeff Hardy said that he would steal the show at Mania just as he does in every ladder match he’s involved in. Punk was last, and the crowd chanted his name. He said that Edge was addicted to running his mouth. Edge pushed Punk into the crowd of ladder match participants, causing a huge brawl in the ring. The host hightailed it and watched the melee from the ramp. Punk and the Hardys, meanwhile, cleaned house of all the heels and then ran after Edge.

Backstage, Maria interviewed John Cena. Cena hyped every match and appearance at Mania in a round-about way, but then turned his attention toward HBK. He said that the dust will settle, the smoke will clear, and the two most controversial, intense, charismatic individuals of all time would step into the ring and compete for the richest prize in the profession. People will talk of the match for years to come…and they’d talk about one man who could say that he was the best…and that one man would be able to raise his hand high and proclaim “The Champ is here!”

Match 3: Mr. McMahon vs. ECW Champion Bobby Lashley
- Vince got on the mic before the match and said that he was going to embarrass Lashley by pinning him 1-2-3. Murdoch and Cade attacked Lashley as the match got underway. Lashley handled them pretty easily, though. Chris Masters came after him next and tried to apply the Masterlock. Lashley countered and disposed of him. Johnny Nitro got involved, as well, but took the running powerslam. Umaga was presumably the last bullet in Vince’s proverbial gun. The two representatives in the Battle of the Billionaires went toe-to-toe until VKM gave Lashley a low blow. Umaga followed with a Samoan drop, allowing Vince to get the win. The Samoan Bulldozer was instructed to continue his assault, though. Thus, Umaga went to the top and splashed the ECW Champ. He then dragged him into the corner and gave him a pair of running rear splashes before capping off the assault with the Samoan Spike. Vince pinned Lashley.

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The show opened with Shawn Michales coming to the ring for his match against JBL. JBL made his classic long horned-limo entrance for the first time in about 10 months, but wasn’t wearing his wrestling gear. He said that he flew from NYC in his 8K suit b/c he was told he had a match. The crowd was all over him. JBL said that nobody tells him what to do and that if he comes out of retirement, it’ll be on his own terms. He said that a match b/t himself and HBK was a dream match, but it wasn’t going to happen. JBL went on to question HBK’s ego, citing how he had yet to turn on Cena. Thus, JBL said that Cena was going to kick HBK’s ass at Mania. He then hyped HBK’s ability to play mind games with the best of them, and said that the reason he hadn’t “taken the shot” on Cena yet is because he knew that he can’t beat the champ. He said that HBK hasn’t tried because he’s scared that the fans won’t cheer him anymore and/or that it’ll conflict with his newfound decency, religion, etc.

HBK took the mic and said that he came to Indiana to fight, but if JBL wanted to do a verbal joust, then that was fine. Michaels said that perhaps not playing mind games was the best mind game of all. He said that he can and will beat Cena at WrestleMania 23. HBK continued by saying that, like JBL, no one tells him what to do…and no one is going to tell him when to deliver Sweet Chin Music. He then blasted JBL with a superkick out of nowhere!

Backstage, Randy Orton verbally berated Edge for playing games with him and leaving him high and dry last week. Edge defended himself, but Orton dropped a bomb shell on him. Tonight, Edge has to defend his MITB spot in a battle royal. Edge was quite pissed off…

Chris Masters geared up for the Masterlock Challenge against Bobby Lashley. JR and King hyped that the hold had not been broken in the two years since Masters debuted. The ECW Champ made his way to the ring. A small “Bobby” chant broke out, as Masters struggled to apply his hold. Masters slapped him in the back of the head, so Lashley got up and slapped Chris in the face. Once the hold was applied, Masters brought Lashley to his knees. Lashley fought back to his feet, but became very sluggish. The ECW Champ eventually did break the hold, though…and that’s it for the Masterlock challenge…

Backstage, Vince McMahon, Coach, and a large group of security guards waited for Lashley. McMahon had Lashley escorted out of the building. Vince and Coach then said hello to Maria. Eugene walked up and accidentally spilled fluid on Vince. McMahon put him in a match against Umaga…Ron Simmons showed up for a “Damn!”

Match 1: Last Chance Battle Royal- Ric Flair vs. Viscera vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kenny Dykstra vs. Charlie Haas vs. Super Crazy vs. Val Venis vs. Carlito vs. Edge
- (Winner gets the last spot in MITB). Edge stayed out of the way, as everyone else went after Viscera. Viscera tried to fight his way out of the predicament, but they dumped him out. Edge focused on Venis, Crazy and Carlito hooked it up, Haas and Nitro struggled, and Flair wandered around. The Rated-R Superstar then appeared to injure his knee. He rolled out of the ring and was checked out by officials. Nitro, meanwhile, nearly got eliminated. Flair helped out Carlito, who was struggling against Haas. Venis tried to eliminate Kenny. Crazy then tried an Eddie Guerrero-type head scissor-arm drag combination on TWGTT, but Haas and Benjamin caught him and tossed him over the top rope. We then got a dreaded mid-match commercial break, but that was to be expected. Back from the break, we found out that Venis and Haas had been eliminated by Nitro and Carlito, respectively. Meanwhile, Edge was still down on the outside. Shelton backdropped Flair and Nitro decked Kenny with a clothesline. Carlito ended up on the apron, but avoided elimination.

He climbed to the top rope, where Shelton leaped in a single bound to meet him. Flair aided his buddy and tossed Shelton off the top to the outside. The final four were CCC, Flair, Nitro, and Edge after Flair tossed out Kenny. Carlito went on to eliminate Nitro, leaving just him and the Nature Boy. CCC nearly had Flair eliminated, but Naitch came back with a long series of chops. Carlito came back with a springboard back elbow and clotheslined him over the top. Flair landed on the apron, though, and used a thumb to the eye to regain control. However, Carlito used a head scissor to try and eliminate Flair. Unfortunately for Carlito…it didn’t work. Flair back dropped him over the top and won. Well, at least he thought he won until Edge showed up and tossed him over the top. Edge retained his spot in MITB at 11:07.

Match 2: Intercontinental Champion Umaga (w/ Armando) vs. Eugene
- Umaga knocked Eugene off the apron and slammed him into the steel steps. He splashed him with a modified Banzai drop and followed with a running rear splash. After the Samoan Spike, the match was over. Umaga defeated Eugene at 1:45. After the match, they strapped Eugene into the barber’s chair. Vince taunted Eugene as if he were Donald Trump. Umaga choked Eugene and Vince hacked off his hair.

Candice Michelle said that she was reading Melina’s blog and noticed that the Women’s Champ had been bashing Playboy cover girls. Melina came out and bashed Candice for her lack of talent at doing anything other than taking her clothes off. She said that none of the Playboy models have any in-ring talent. Candice insinuated that Melina was a whore and challenged her to a non-title bra-and-panties match…

Match 3: Bra and Panties match - Candice vs. Melina
-The match got underway during a commercial break. Back from the break, Melina was in full control. She put Candice’s head b/t her legs and rolled her over. Candice blocked her attempt at stripping her pants off, though. The former Playboy cover girl used her hangmen’s head scissor to aid her in taking off Melina’s skirt. Melina came back and took off Candice’s top. She used a head scissor to set-up an attempt to rip Candice’s shorts off. They ended up rolling around in 69 position. Melina got the win soon after following a bulldog. Melina defeated Candice at 5:25. After the match, Ashley came to the ring and ripped Melina’s top off.

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The show opened with WWE Champion John Cena coming to the ring sporting a new t-shirt. To a mixed reaction, the champ said he feels tension in the air. He said the past 6 weeks of his life, he’s had to ask himself if he trusts HBK…when is Michaels going to turn on him? On the door step of WrestleMania, Cena said he was sick of wondering and wasn’t down with waiting to find out if HBK was going to stab him in the back. Cena called Michaels out. HBK responded and made his way to the ring. Cena halted HBK before he had the chance to speak and questioned his statements about having his back. HBK said he wasn’t trying to win “Good Samaritan of the Year.” He said his only goal was to become WWE Champ. Despite that, he’s kept his word about keeping Cena’s back. So, he can wonder all he wants, but what HBK wants to know is when is Cena going to turn on HBK.

He said he knows Cena will do whatever it takes to remain champ and he digs that about him. However, as badly as Cena wants the title, HBK wants one more day in the sun just a little bit more. It appeared they might come to blows, but the Coach made his presence felt. The crowd didn’t like it. Nonetheless, Coach said there were a lot of tag teams that wanted a shot at their tag belts. So, HBK and Cena will face three teams in a gauntlet match…every one of which will be for the tag titles. In the event that they make it to the final match, it will be contested in a cage match.

Donald Trump arrived in the parking lot…

Match 1: Final Qualifier for the Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton vs. Carlito
- (This was an elimination match). Flair and Carlito went right after Orton. Randy fought his way out and tried to score a quick pin with his feet on the ropes, but to no avail. Orton backdropped and dropkicked Flair, but Carlito snuck up on him and rolled him up for a near fall. The Legend Killer dominated the early going before Flair and Carlito double-teamed him again and took control. They took turns hammering Orton in the corner. Then, they took turns trying to pin him. Orton raked Flair in the eyes and tried to get going again, but CCC caught him with a back elbow smash. Flair caught Orton with a chop block. Carlito followed with a springboard back elbow. They proceeded to get into an argument over who should beat Orton. CCC caught Flair with the Back Cracker. Orton tossed Carlito out of the ring and gave Flair the RKO. Orton defeated Flair at 4:06.

Carlito came back with a dropkick. We then got a dreaded mid-match commercial break, but I guess that was to be expected. Back from the break, Orton had Carlito locked in a Boston Crab. During the break, Orton planted CCC with a DDT while Carlito’s feet were on the second ropes. Carlito broke the hold, as we returned to live action. Orton continued to dominate, though, stomping away at Carlito’s leg and dropping his knee into CCC’s throat. Randy then whipped Carlito hard into the corner before applying a rear chinlock. Carlito battled back to his feet and caught Orton with a back suplex. As they reached their feet, Carlito blasted Orton with a series of right and left hands, but missed a dropkick. Orton then poised himself for the RKO. He went for the kill, but Carlito pushed him into the ropes and scored with a hurricanrana. CCC got fired up at that point and eventually scored with a running Million Dollar knee lift and a modified one-man flapjack (out of fireman carry position) for a near fall. He then went for a moonsault off the top rope, but landed on his feet as Orton ran under him. He scored with an enziguiri and followed with a springboard rolling Senton for a pair of near falls. CCC tried to keep the momentum going, but Orton crotched him on the top rope, followed with the RKO, and won the match. Orton qualified for MITB at 13:43.

Chris Masters was in the ring for the Masterlock Challenge. No one stepped up to the challenge, so Masters said it’d have to be Lillian Garcia. Before all that could get started, Super Crazy came to the rescue. He scored with a series of kicks and went for a wheelbarrow bulldog. However, Masters caught him in the Masterlock in mid-move. Crazy was unable to break the hold.Mr. McMahon showed up in the parking lot. He told Trump’s driver to tell Donald that “mine was bigger than his.”

Mick Foley hyped his book in a pre-taped vignette…

Backstage, Orton approached Edge and told him that they were no longer opponents. Edge said that while that was really impressive, he’s been in 12 ladder matches and won more of them than everyone else in MITB combined. He’s also undefeated at Wrestlemania. Orton said the only reason for that was because he’d never faced him at Mania. He also said he was better looking…

On the Titantron, The Rock gave his thoughts on Wrestlemania’s Battle of the Billionaires. He said that “Finally, The Rock has come back to Monday Night RAW.” He said McMahon would get his head shaved at Mania. Rock said that Umaga, in Samoan, means shriveled up monkey penis…look it up. How does Vince plan on beating Lashley and Trump with a shriveled up monkey penis?

Match 2: World Tag Team Champions HBK and John Cena in a Gauntlet Match
- The first team they faced was TWGTT, Haas and Benjamin. The champs took control from the get-go, w/ Cena taking down Shelton with a jumping hip toss. After a mix-up, Cena scored with a fisherman suplex. Haas tried to get involved, but Cena blasted him in the face. The distraction allowed Shelton to kick Cena in the leg, though. Haas tagged in and worked over Cena’s lower back. He then backed Cena into the corner for a series of shoulder thrusts. Cena came back with a running one-handed facebuster and tagged HBK. Michaels scored with the diving forearm on Haas, an inverted atomic drop on both, and a DDT on Haas. He then clotheslined Shelton over the top rope. Cena tagged himself in and made Haas tap out to the STFU at 2:55.

The next team was Cade and Murdoch. Cade and Murdoch wasted little time in singling out HBK and dropping him with an inverted atomic drop-big boot combo. Lance worked over his former mentor (in wrestling school). Murdoch tagged in and sloppily slammed HBK to the mat. Cade tagged back in and scored with a diving clothesline. He then applied a bearhug. The crowd chanted for HBK. Michaels used their enthusiasm to fight out of the hold and score with an enziguiri (eventually). Murdoch got the tag, but so did Cena. The champ cleaned house and took Murdoch down with the Prototype spinning back drop, setting up the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena went for the FU, but HBK blasted Murdoch with Sweet Chin Music while he was on Cena’s shoulders. Cena pinned Murdoch at 6:26, but didn’t look happy that Michaels stole his thunder. As the cage lowered, we got a dreaded mid-match commercial break, but that was understandable.

Back from the break, we found that it was MNM facing the champs. The match was joined in progress, which is annoying. Nitro had Cena locked in a rear choke. Cena powered out and tagged HBK (yes, tagged…this wasn’t your typical tornado-style tag team cage match). HBK was unable to gain much momentum, as Mercury tossed him into the side of the cage. Nitro came back in and choked Michaels before scoring with a modified swinging neckbreaker. Mercury came back in and connected on a combination stomach breaker w/ Nitro. Nitro tagged right back in and went for a corkscrew moonsault off the second rope. However, he missed and tagged Mercury. MNM tried to keep Michaels grounded, but HBK resiliently escaped and tagged Cena. Cena, again getting a mixed reaction, cleaned house and tossed Mercury into the steel like a lawn dart. He then hip tossed Nitro into the cage. Michaels tossed a bloody Joey Mercury into the steel once again. Cena took another turn and rammed Mercury’s face into the steel for a third time. He went for the FU soon after, but ended up getting into it with HBK instead. Michaels superkicked Mercury into an FU from Cena. 1…2…3! HBK and Cena retained at 15:05. After the match, the other tag teams attacked the champs. It was 6-on-2, but the opponents at Mania overcame the odds. Cena grabbed a chair and nailed Haas, but it appeared as if he might hit Michaels. The champ stormed off and a pissed off HBK followed close behind.

Match 3: Jeff Hardy vs. Edge
- Edge came to the ring in street clothes. He grabbed a mic and came into the ring. Edge said that he’d love nothing more than to beat the hell out of him, but being as they are in Washington, home of the Redskins, he isn’t about to perform in front of a bunch of people racist toward Native Americans. He then introduced the Great Khali. Khali stepped into the ring and gave Jeff one of his unstoppable chops. He followed with a big boot and a two-handed chokeslam. Kane showed up, though, and brought the hook on a chain that was featured in his movie. Edge hightailed it and Khali followed suit. Kane tossed the hook onto the announce table and pulled it over on it’s side. Jeff and Khali wrestled to a no-contest.

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The show opened with HBK stretching in the backstage area. John Cena walked up to him and they shared a brief stare down. Cena wished him luck in his match against Randy Orton. HBK wished Cena luck against Edge. Cena said there was something else. Before he could say anything more, HBK cut him off and said that he knows he’s turned on all his partners in the past. Michaels said it was different with Cena. Cena wanted to know how it was different. HBK said maybe it wasn’t different. Cena said that despite all the budding tension, he’s got his back if something goes wrong with Orton tonight. HBK said he didn’t need his help.

Match 1: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton (w/ Edge)
- Back from commercial break, HBK went for a dropkick, but Orton countered into a Boston Crab. Michaels struggled, but eventually reached the bottom rope. HBK quickly latched on a sleeper hold, but Orton countered into a backdrop. Michaels countered the counter into a cross body pin. HBK followed with an attempted baseball slide, wanting to take out Edge. However, Edge moved. HBK went back up to the apron, but Orton caught him, drug him b/t the second and top ropes and planted him with a spike DDT (while his feet were still hanging on the ropes). Orton continued his dominance with a dropkick in the corner and a jumping knee drop in the center of the ring. Unable to score the decisive fall, Orton locked on a rear choke. HBK eventually got back to his feet and broke the hold. He caught Orton with a back drop, leaving both lying. They made it to their feet and HBK scored with a flying forearm. He kipped up and connected with an inverted atomic drop and a body slam to set-up the flying elbow drop. Michaels took the risk and scored with the top rope elbow. He then set-up for the superkick. HBK went for it, but Orton countered and went for the RKO.

Michaels countered and pushed Orton into the ref, but Randy still came back with a diving clothesline. Edge tried to help Orton, handing him the tag title belt. Unfortunately for him, the ref saw it. Orton tried to plead with him and the distraction allowed HBK to roll him up for the win. HBK defeated Orton at 11:29. After the match, Orton and Edge had a quick little argument, but Randy refocused long enough to drop HBK with an RKO onto a chair. Cena made the save before Rated-RKO could do anymore damage.

Mick Foley hyped his book, citing its controversies…

JR and King showed highlights of Lashley beating Hardcore Holly in a cage match on ECW, plus the aftermath with Lashley jumping thru a section of the cage onto Umaga…

Backstage, Vince asked Armando what kind of mood Umaga was in. Armando said there’s wasn’t anything to worry about. Coach said that Vince looked stressed. Vince said he wasn’t stressed…and wasn’t worried about the Board of Directors choice for special ref. He said that he tells them what to do, so he’s confident they’ll choose his son, Shane, as he suggested.

Match 2: Jeff Hardy vs. Intercontinental Champion Umaga (w/ Armando)
- As the crowd chanted for him, Jeff scored with a jawbreaker. However, Umaga came right back with a clothesline. He then placed him in the tree-of-woe and drilled him in the face with a jumping headbutt. Jeff found himself lying helpless in the corner. Umaga charged and blasted Hardy with a running rear smash. He then called for the Samoan Spike…and that was all she wrote. Umaga retained at 4:02.

Backstage, Carlito and Ric Flair were interviewed. They were asked how they felt about facing each other tonight in an effort to determine the final spot in the MITB ladder match. Flair said he had more passion; Carlito said he’d do everything necessary.

Chris Masters got set-up for the Masterlock Challenge. Hacksaw Jim Duggan was the competitor. Masters easily won.

Backstage, HBK said he’s got Cena’s back tonight. Cena said he didn’t need his help…

Vince McMahon power walked to the ring, making sure to stop by the barber shop set-up on the ramp. McMahon hyped a contract signing for next week b/t he and Trump. He said if Trump gets in his face, he’ll bitch slap him. At that point, Eric Bischoff (yeah, seriously) came to the ring. Vince wanted to know what the hell he was doing there. Bischoff said he wasn’t the ref, so not to worry. EB said since he lives in Phoenix, he just wanted to stop by and say hello. He said he was looking forward to seeing Donald shave Vince’s head. At that point, Eric left, but Mick Foley came to the ring wearing his referee shirt. Vince thought Mick was the special ref, so he kissed his ass. He gave Foley his job back and gave him access to come back to RAW and plug his book. Foley took full advantage of the situation. He even goaded Vince into paying his room service bill.

Ultimately, though, Foley revealed that he was not the guest ref for Wrestlemania 23, but rather for a rib eating contest b/t Charles Barkley and the Phoenix Suns mascot down the road at a restaurant. Vince excused him and demanded that the real guest ref make his presence felt. At that point, Shane McMahon finally made his way to the ring, putting his father’s mind at ease. However, Shane didn’t appear to have good news. Shane said that they didn’t get their choice for special ref. At that point…Stone Cold Steve Austin’s music hit and the place went nuts!

Austin made his way to the ring, as Vince looked on in stunned silence. After the Rattlesnake made his patented corner to corner middle-fingered salutes, Vince offered him a handshake. Austin laughed, walked away, and requested some beers. Stone Cold walked around drinking beer, as JR hyped him as the special ref. Steve eventually threw beer in McMahon’s face.

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World Tag Team Championship: John Cena & Shawn Michaels v. Rated RKO

Edge and Randy Orton appeared on the titan tron. Orton said there must be some sort of misunderstanding. Orton said Edge and he weren’t ready to compete. He said they would be later tonight and they’d make into the match for their match. Orton told HBK to listen up. He said HBK was robbed at the Oscars last night for not winning best actor. He said Michaels may have Cena’s back, but not his sides, his back or his jaws. He told John Cena to watch his back because HBK was a liar. He said to everyone who doesn’t believe him, Edge and Orton put together a little video recap of ‘historic’ Shawn Michaels.

A video aired putting over all the times Michaels had turned on people in the past. Very awesome stuff. Edge called Michaels a liar repeatedly and said Shawn said having your back and stabbing him in the back are two entirely different things and said we’d see them later tonight.

Cena turned around as HBK mouthed ‘do you trust me?”

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy v. Shelton Benjamin
After back and forth and a commercial break, we came back to Shelton Benjamin being in control, with a headlock. Jeff Hardy fought back again, but this time got back body dropped to the mat. Shelton went for a cover but didn’t get anything. Benjamin collected Hardy and hit another backdrop before putting the boots to him on the mat. Shelton slapped on a modified chin lock and again the crowd rallied behind Hardy.

Hardy hit his jawbreaker and hit two clotheslines before hitting a back elbow and a swinging take down. Shelton ducked under a clothesline and leapt to the apron. Shelton went for a springboard move off the top rope but completely botched it and landed on his head. Hardy went for a cover. Hardy hit a crescent kick before hitting the twist of fate. Hardy loaded up the swanton bomb and nailed it for the three count.
Winner: Jeff Hardy via pin fall

Hardy walked up the ramp before Vince McMahon appeared on the titan tron and cut off the fun. He said Umaga was the guy who dethroned Jeff Hardy last week on RAW. He then showed us a bunch of pictures of Donald Trump’s shaved head.

A video was aired of Ashley Massaro in her Playboy shoot.

Melina was in the back being jealous and complaining about everything. She whined about Ashley, was pissed off about Mick Foley getting attention, especially after she ‘fired him’ last year, etc. She whined about a ‘falls count anywhere’ rematch with Mickie James and her match with Maria later tonight. Johnny Nitro exploded on her and told her to shut up, that she was all caught up in herself.

Johnny Nitro v. Super Crazy
Nitro assaulted Crazy before the bell and laid into Crazy with some super stiff punches. Nitro tossed Super Crazy into the ring steps and then hit a wheel barrel face buster on the outside of the ring. Nitro just walked off, seething still, not giving a crap about his match with Super Crazy. He looked down from the ramp, happy with his work. Crazy was left unconscious.
Winner: No Contest

Melina v. Maria
Melina sat in with a camel clutch, humbling people everywhere. Maria powered out of the move before getting hammered with a kick to the mid section. Maria caught the champion with a boot to the face and a face buster. Maria hit her bulldog and went for the cover but Melina kicked out at two. Maria hit an Irish whip and a nasty lariat before going for the broncobuster. Melina got a knee up just in time and Maria ate it in the, uh, private, uh, area. Her bronco has been busted. Melina rolled her up and got the three count for the win.
Winner: Melina via pin fall

Vince McMahon climbed into the ring and put the match over a little bit more. Vince and down his riches and everyone else’s riches and how embarrassed Trump would be after the match. He said he was going to give him a billionaire ‘bitch slap’. A video aired of Umaga totaling former World Champion Rey Mysterio. Vince introduced to us the man who would assure him victory at Wrestlemania, WWE Intercontinental Champion Umaga. Vince said anything Trump could do, he could do better.

After some more Vince Babbling, Donald interrupted him on the Titan Tron. Trump said Umaga was an animal. He said the proper thing to do with animals was to ‘tame’ them. He said the only way he knew how to tame someone, was to find a superior product, and he said he found that in ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley.

Lashley came out and stared Umaga down in the middle of the ring. Vince screamed for some security from the back. The two broke from security and brawled all around the ring. The two spilled to the outside of the ring and they brawled all up and down the table. The two brawled all around the announce table area before being broken up by security again. Lashley leapt off the ring steps at Umaga who spine bustered him to the floor and began whaling away with lefts and rights before being split up again.

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The show opened with Vince McMahon coming to ring, which had a little barber shop set-up in the center. Vince took a microphone and said that the Battle of the Billionaires was on for Wrestlemania. He said in 41 days, Donald Trump steps into McMahon’s yard/house/greatest creation. Vince said he looks forward to beating the holy hell out of Donald after his representative beats Trump’s. He also looks forward to slapping the hell out of Donald and then shaving his head. Vince proceeded to introduce what other media darlings would look like without hair, including Britney Spears, on the Titantron.

He said he could really do whatever he wants to Donald’s hair…he could give him a mo-hawk like Mr. T’s….he could give him a flattop…he could put him in dreadlocks…or he could even give him the Hogan-cut. Finally, Vince showed a picture of what Trump would look like bald. The crowd was fairly quiet. McMahon introduced his representative, Umaga, and gave Trump a week to announce his. Umaga and Armando came to the ring. Armando took the mic and said it’d be Umaga’s honor to decimate Trump’s Mania representative. McMahon then gave Umaga an IC title shot…right now!

Match 1: Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga (w/Armando Alejandro Estrada)
- After a commercial and back in the ring, Umaga dominated with a simplistic offense and a leg drop. The Samoan Bulldozer continued to gain momentum, as the crowd chanted for Hardy. Umaga used a trapezius grab to keep Hardy grounded. JR and King hyped Umaga’s role in the Battle of the Billionaires. Jeff eventually made it to his feet, but Umaga took him right back to the mat with a hard clothesline. Umaga went to the second rope and attempted a diving headbutt, but Hardy moved out of the way. Jeff then connected on the Whisper in the Wind, but Umaga came back with a Samoan drop. The big man dragged Hardy to the corner and sat him up against the lowest turnbuckle. He proceeded to charge from the opposite corner and smash Jeff’s face with a running rear smash. The finish came when Umaga won the IC title after a Samoan Spike at an estimated 8:43.

A promo for Mick Foley’s new book, “The Hardcore Diaries,” was shown. Mick talked about how he exposed a lot of the backstage happenings…

Match 2: Ric Flair and Carlito (w/Torrie) vs. Cade and Murdoch
- Flair and Carlito gained early control. Carlito scored with an early springboard back elbow and a Million Dollar knee lift. Murdoch tried to get involved, but Carlito blasted him with a hard left hand. Nonetheless, the distraction allowed Cade to hit a modified side slam and tag Murdoch into the match. Cade and Murdoch worked over Carlito’s neck and back. The camera continually panned over to Torrie. Murdoch applied a neck vice, but Carlito battled out of the hold. Carlito eventually tagged Flair, who came in and wiped the floor with Murdoch. Naitch gave him a chop block and went for the Figure Four, but Cade tried to interfere. Carlito and Flair took him out with a double clothesline. Flair gave Murdoch a low blow and tagged CCC. Carlito scored with the Back Cracker for the win. Carlito and Flair defeated Cade and Murdoch at 4:29.

Backstage, Todd Grisham interviewed HBK and John Cena. Cena said that last night at No Way Out, they got a big win. He said that he thinks the reason that he and HBK were so successful is that they know exactly where they stand headed toward Mania. Michaels agreed, saying that he’s got Cena’s back so he can get him at his best at Wrestlemania. HBK then plugged the new DX DVD. Cena didn’t think that was good enough, so he plugged “The Marine” DVD. They went back and forth trying to out-do each other’s promos. Big Dick Johnson came into the picture and Michaels gave him the superkick. Cena thanked HBK for having his back.

Further backstage, Edge and Randy Orton talked about their rematch next week against HBK and Cena for the World Tag titles. Orton said he’d soften up Cena tonight and make it easy for them next week. Edge talked about winning MITB again, and how he’d strongly consider using the title shot right after HBK and Cena finished wrestling at Mania. Orton, with a somewhat jealous look, told Edge that that’s exactly what he should do…

Match 3: Money in the Bank Qualifying Match - Edge vs. Rob Van Dam
- Edge grabbed an armbar to start, but RVD countered into one of his own. The crowd chanted for RVD. Edge battled RVD to a standoff and then grabbed a headlock. He knocked RVD down to the mat with a shoulder tackle, but Van Dam came back with a leg press and a monkey flip out of the corner. We then got a dreaded mid-match commercial break, but that was to be expected. Back from the break, RVD had Edge in an armbar with a butterfly grip. He switched it over into a hammerlock and then connected with a unique armbreaker out of the submission. Edge got to his feet and poked RVD in the eye. Van Dam threw Edge over the top rope and to the outside, maintaining momentum.

He then placed Edge on the guardrail (stomach-first) and connected with a twirling leg drop off the apron. Back in the ring, Edge kicked RVD before the ECW Original was able to completely get thru the ropes. Edge followed with a swinging neckbreaker. He scored with another neckbreaker for a near fall and applied a rear chinlock. The crowd got behind Van Dam, who used their energy to kick his way out of the hold. They traded blows until RVD scored with a spinning wheel kick in the corner. Unfortunately, Van Dam couldn’t capitalize. They traded blows again until RVD scored with a jumping right handed smash. Eventually, Van Dam scored with a spinning back kick. RVD went for Rolling Thunder, but Edge got up and caught him (in mid-air) into a power slam. 1…2…No! Edge stayed on him, placing on top turnbuckle. The Rated R Superstar went for a sky high superplex, but Van Dam pushed him off. Edge crotched himself on the top rope. RVD came off the top rope with a spinning wheel kick and knocked Edge to the outside.

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The show opened with HBK coming to the ring. He grabbed a mic and said that last week, he said that no mere mortal man would keep him from winning the Rumble. Well, Taker is no mere mortal man. HBK said that he was still going to main-event Wrestlemania 23 and take the WWE Championship.

He said he knew the people were saying that Taker gets to choose who he’s going to face. HBK knew all that, but he said that if Taker chooses Batista, it leaves the WWE Champion wide open. Thus, Michaels threw his hat into the championship ring, which brought out the WWE Champion John Cena. Cena limped to the ring, grabbed a mic, and made sure he was hearing HBK correctly. However, Cena reminded Shawn that it wasn’t up to them, but rather the Undertaker. At that point, Edge came out with a microphone and said that Michaels vs. Cena wasn’t going to happen. Edge reminded HBK how he’d predicted that Michaels would come away from the Rumble with a feeling of “close, but no cigar.”

The Rated-R Superstar also reminded Cena of his numerous wins over the champ and that he’s undefeated at Mania. Edge, thus, believes he should get the title shot if Taker chooses Batista. Randy Orton came to the ramp at that point. Orton addressed his tag partner first. He said that they may be tag champs, but it’s every man for himself when it comes to the WWE title. Orton said Edge had faced Cena like 30 times…Randy has never even had one. Edge said the reason for that would be that…Cena interrupted the “puss bags” and told them to either shut up or come to the ring and fight him and HBK. Rated-RKO headed to the ring, but Vince McMahon appeared on the Titantron and told them to stop right there. VKM made a tag title match b/t Rated-RKO and Cena/HBK.

Match 1: Cryme Tyme vs. The World’s Greatest Tag Team
- Haas, with corn rows, started it off against Shad. They locked up, with Haas going after Shad’s leg and then his arm. Haas switched form an armbar to a headlock, but Shad came back with a series of shoulder tackles. Shelton came in while the ref’s back was turned and superkicked Shad in the back of the leg. Haas went to work from there. Shad tried to fight back, but Haas used a single leg takedown to continue to build momentum. Shelton tagged in and further worked over Shad’s leg. Shad again tried to fight back, but Shelton used a single-leg takedown and quickly switched right into a half Boston Crab. JTG eventually got the tag and cleaned house. He scored back elbow on Shelton and went after Haas. Shad tried to take Shelton out of the ring to leave his partner alone with Charlie, but Benjamin skinned the cat and caught Shad with a head scissors that sent the big man out of the ring. JTG came up from behind Shelton with a roll up, but Haas gave him a DDT. Shelton scored the pin soon after. TWGTT defeated Cryme Tyme at 3:38.

Match 2: Melina vs. Maria
- Maria scored a quick near fall with a roll-up. She then gave Melina a wedgy and a Bronco Buster. Melina came back with several hard shots to the face and a hair pull that sent Maria to the mat. She then placed Maria between the second ropes near a corner turnbuckle and kicked her in the back. Maria came back with another roll-up and eventually scored with a jawbreaker. However, Melina regained control with a one-woman flapjack and a unique submission move. The finish came when Maria tapped. Thus, Melina defeated Maria to become #1 contender at 2:45.

Backstage, HBK was interviewed. Michaels looked annoyed and said that he’d done pretty well against Rated-RKO and tonight he’d win the tag titles. When asked how his chemistry would be with Cena, HBK said that with all due respect to the champ…Cena is no Triple H.

Further backstage, Super Crazy told Mickie James that he was super and crazy. Melina said it was crazy for Mickie to think she’d be women’s champ after they wrestled for the belt.

Match 3: Val Venis vs. Umaga (w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada)
- Venis tried to gain first strike points before the bell rang, but Umaga wasted no time putting the Big Valbowski down with a Samoan Drop. The Samoan Bulldozer then placed him in the tree-of-woe and clobbered him with several right handed shots. He followed with a jumping/diving headbutt. Umaga repositioned Venis and sat him in the corner. He then connected with a running rear smash and got the win soon after following the Samoan Spike. Umaga defeated Venis at 1:49.

Vince McMahon came to the ring sporting a cowboy hat with the Coach and some security guards. JR and King mentioned that Vince would be having “Fan Appreciation Night” on ECW tomorrow night, as well. Vince said that the first thing he wanted to say was “Howdy partner!” He said phrases like that were as ridiculous as people that wear cowboy hats. He called those that wear hats stupid. Vince had a huge picture frame behind him with a large cloak over it. He said tonight was his night to give back to the little people. The crowd chanted, “You Suck.” He said it was his night to say “Thank You” to all the fans for helping make him a billionaire. He then promised to give one member of the crowd a gift of material wealth. After searching thru the crowd, he picked out an attractive woman in a mini-skirt. She came into the ring. Vince said he understood that she must be nervous standing in the ring with him. Her name was Jackie. After a drum roll, Vince pulled the cloak off the frame to reveal a huge, framed version of his Muscle and Fitness cover from early last year. That was Jackie’s prize. The crowd booed the hell out of him, as he told her to return to her seat.

Donald Trump appeared on the Titantron at that point. Trump said that Vince claimed to tell the audience what they wanted, when in actuality they had no choice and no alternative to Vince and his product. Donald said he knew the audience better than Vince…he said they want value for what they paid for. Trump had buckets of money dumped from the rafters. Vince said those were just pieces of paper, but King insisted it was real. The fans in the crowd certainly acted like it was real. Vince was pissed, as it rained cash all over the arena. McMahon said Trump had not heard the last of this. He said the fans didn’t deserve that money and tried to take it from the fans at ringside. Vince stormed off.

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The show opened with HBK. He was sporting a band-aid across his forehead. Shawn Michaels grabbed a mic and let out several loud groans. He said that last week he learned he could still feel “it,” the ability to overcome the biggest odds. He suggested that he had been trying to suppress those feelings for years, but that he was not doing that anymore. He said that the Showstopper was back and he believes that he can once again be the WWE Champion. This Sunday, the Road to WrestleMania 23 begins with the Royal Rumble…and HBK’s new, reborn passion will lead him to victory over 29 other men.

At that point, Edge came out to the ramp wielding a microphone, and said that he had a feeling that HBK would have a feeling of “close, but no cigar” after this Sunday. Edge said he’d be winning the Royal Rumble and main-eventing Mania. HBK told him to shut up and come down to the ring so he could tear him apart. Michaels called him a gutless coward. Edge took off his sweatshirt and head to the ring. HBK met him halfway and the two began a brawl around the ringside area. They fought into the first row at ringside. The obligatory group of random refs came out to pull them apart. After the refs separated them initially, HBK broke away and jumped toward Edge once again. We then got a commercial break, but when we returned to live action, HBK and Edge were still going at it backstage. Coach ran onto the scene and screamed at the refs to keep HBK away.

Match 1: Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy vs. Joey Mercury (w/ Melina and Nitro)
- Joey, still sporting the face protector, got caught with a Jeff Hardy plancha to start the match. In the ring, Jeff hit a running One and Only and tried for a jawbreaker. Joey countered, though, and scored with a knee lift to the chin. Nitro, meanwhile, stripped the padding off the ringside area, prompting the ref to send him and Melina to the back. Mercury continued to build momentum with hard clotheslines. The crowd chanted for Hardy, who came back with a diving clothesline and the Whisper in the Wind (just barely). Jeff then hit the Twist of Fate for the win. Hardy defeated Mercury at 2:36.

Backstage, Coach told McMahon he wanted to throw HBK and Edge out of the arena. Vince suggested that HBK and Edge wrestle tonight’s main-event under the Street Fight stipulation.

Vince McMahon came to the ring, with the Coach following close behind. VKM said that last week he read Donald Trump’s letter, so this week he’d like to read his letter to Donald. Coach handed Vince his reading glasses. Vince’s letter talked about how he should be a special guest star on the Apprentice to get the ratings to go up. He said that he’s been on TV for 35 years and wherever he goes, people follow to watch. Vince claimed that his presence was the main reason for USA’s spot atop the cable TV rankings. He tricked the crowd into responding “WHAT” after he told them “If you’re an idiot say what.” Anyhow, he said that people love him all over the world and that he wanted to show them that he loved them, too. He decided to postpone his show of affection until next week.

At that point, WWE Champion John Cena came to the ring and asked what the hell happened to Vince…when did he become Brother Love? Cena called him out on his unwillingness to listen to the fans. He said that Vince’s latest obsession is Donald Trump…and Vince’s obsessions don’t turn out to well. Like the time he wanted to take out DX and got his head shoved up Big Show’s ass and the XFL, for instance. Cena called Vince and Donald egomaniacs, shameless self-promoters, and the expensive hair/suits/jets that they use to overcompensate for “something.” Coach responded by saying that Donald had a bigger ego, did more self-promoting, and had more money than McMahon. Vince didn’t like the sound of that and said that there wasn’t anything that Donald had more of than Mr. McMahon. McMahon then booked Cena vs. Coach for later tonight.

Match 2: Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy
- Masters took early control with a series of lumbering blows before tossing Crazy over the top turnbuckle. Crazy came back with a cross body over the second rope, but Masters regained momentum with a wheelbarrow suplex. Masters followed with a backbreaker and a rear chinlock. Crazy tried to fight back again, but Masters botched a clothesline and regained control. The Masterpiece threw Crazy to the ground to try and make up for the botched spot. The insane luchadore made a comeback with a series of dropkicks, highlighted by one of the top rope. Crazy then connected on a standing moonsault for a near fall. He tried to follow with a running splash in the corner, but Masters moved out of the way and applied the Masterlock. Crazy got his feet on the second rope and pushed backwards, sending Masters to the mat in a pinning position. 1…2…3! Crazy beat Masters at 3:48.

Backstage, Maria interviewed Kenny Dykstra, who this Sunday will be in his first Rumble match. Kenny said he’d be the youngest Rumble winner ever. Maria looked puzzled. Kenny said he didn’t care who he has to go thru…2007 is the year of Kenny Dykstra.

Further backstage, a banged up Randy Orton showed up in Edge’s locker room. He reminded Edge of how he left him for dead to get drilled with a conchairto last week. Edge tried to reason with him and get him to help him out against HBK tonight. Orton told him to go out there and wrestle HBK…and then they’d see what happens.

Match 3: WWE Champion John Cena vs. Coach
- Coach came to the ramp and put Cena in a match with a bunch of random superstars. Cade and Murdoch were first. They double-teamed the champ and taunted the crowd. Cena fought back and connected on all his signature moves, including an FU that sent Murdoch over the top rope. He gave Cade a Five Knuckle Shuffle and tossed him over. Haas, Benjamin, and Viscera joined the fray, as Murdoch and Cade came back in the ring. The Great Khali got involved, as well, but he took out all of the other superstars before turning his attention to Cena. He got quite the face reaction for taking out TWGTT, Cade, Murdoch, and Viscera. He no sold a top rope shoulder tackle from Cena and tossed him over the top rope. Khali went on to toss Cena into the ring steps and give him a devastating chop to the head.

Coach then ran in to score the quick pin on Cena, but the champ kicked out! Cena got back to his feet, but Umaga ran in and blasted him in the back of the head. Umaga gave him a spin-out Rock Bottom. Armando and Coach set Cena on a table in the center of the ring. Umaga splashed Cena thru the table to end the segment. Cena and Coach fought to a no-contest.
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The show opened with WWE Champion John Cena coming to the ring, where the Coach was waiting for him with a contract waiting to be signed. Coach said it may be the last time that Cena was ever introduced as the champion, for at the Royal Rumble, the champ would be facing Umaga. Umaga proceeded to come to the ring, accompanied by Armando Estrada. The crowd started a loud “Cena” chant. Coach said he knew Cena wanted to get all this over with, but he needs to know that the match would be no ordinary match.

He gave match-making power to Estrada, who decided that Umaga-Cena II would be a Last Man Standing match. Estrada said there would be no way that Cena would win and retain the title. AAE signed the contract. The crowd again chanted for Cena. The champ signed the contract, but first pondered the thought that he may not be crazy enough to sign a contract for a Last Man Standing match against a monster. Turns out he was crazy enough…and also full of surprises, as he jumped Umaga and fought him to the outside. Cena blasted Umaga with the steel steps and put AAE thru a table (in the ring) with the FU.

Match 1: Johnny Nitro and Melina vs. Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy and Maria
- Hardy and Nitro started us off, while the crowd chanted for Hardy. Nitro took early control with a series of European uppercuts and a spinning elbow drop. Hardy came back and went for the Twist of Fate, but Nitro countered and pushed Jeff into Maria. Maria and Melina had to wrestle each other. Melina got a wrestling lesson, as Maria dominated her with a series of quick offensive moves and a bulldog out of the corner. Nitro interfered and allowed Melina to take control, though. Melina wrapped Maria up in the ropes before dragging her to the center of the ring and applying a Camel Clutch. Maria came back with a back breaker counter into a head scissor. Melina tagged Nitro, who tried to wrestle Maria. Maria stomped Nitro’s foot, as Jeff came flying into the ring. Hardy connected on a flurry of offense, highlighted by the Whisper in the Wind. He went to the top for the Swanton, but Melina prevented it. Maria pushed Melina away, allowing Hardy to regroup and hit the Swanton Bomb for the win.
Winners: Hardy and Maria at 4:01

Backstage, Vince McMahon ignored the Coach and asked for Donald Trump on the phone. The person on the other end of the line said that Donald was eating dinner. Vince said the matter was urgent.

Edge and Randy Orton came to the top of the ramp, each with a mic in hand. DX’s music started to play, but it was cut short with the sound of a heart monitor flatlining. Orton said that was the sound of the death of DX. The Legend Killer demanded the flatline be replayed, as the crowd chanted “You Suck.” Orton said that the point of Rated-RKO was to take out DX for good, and tonight they’d get the opportunity. He said nobody could stop them from ending DX once and for all. Orton said Trips couldn’t help. Compared to what they were going to do to HBK, Triple H got off easy. Edge said that HBK’s TV debut happened right here in Cajun Country.

In a fitting end, HBK’s last TV match would take place in Cajun Country here tonight. He said that there might be some guys in the back that might want to do the right thing and help HBK tonight. Orton and Edge disappeared to the back and dragged out Hacksaw Jim Duggan, citing that Duggan and Michaels had been friends for years. The crowd chanted “USA.” Edge said that if you help HBK, you’ll suffer the same fate as Duggan. Rated-RKO proceeded to set-up and drill Hacksaw with a conchairto.

Match 2: Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra
- A lock-up started us off, with Flair taking control with a series of chips. Naitch used a headlock takedown to ground the 20-year old, but Kenny came back with a dropkick to the knee. Dykstra then worked over Flair’s injured limb before giving him a slightly delayed vertical suplex. Kenny went back to work on the knee and locked on the Figure Four. Flair got to the ropes to break the hold. Kenny tried to re-apply the hold, but Flair pushed him out of the ring. Flair came back with a series of chops and punches, followed by a back drop and another series of chops and punches. Kenny tried to regain some momentum, but Flair caught him with a back elbow. Flair went to the top, but Kenny caught up to him. The Nature Boy countered, though, pushing Kenny away and then coming off the top with an elbow smash. The two proceeded to trade near falls, with each grabbing the ropes for leverage, but both kicked out. The finish came when Flair reversed a cheap pin attempt and defeated Kenny with his feet on the ropes.
Flair defeated Dykstra at 3:34

Further backstage, McMahon still hadn’t gotten a call back from Trump. Coach asked what was so urgent. Vince read a letter from “Donald.” The letter said that the skit last week was poorly produced, lame, and not up to the WWE’s standards. It also called the skit a poor attempt at comedic satire and said that the WWE fans would rather watch the wrestling stars do compelling things in the ring. Vince said if Donald wanted compelling TV, he’d give him compelling TV.

A video promo hyping Wrestlemania 23 was shown.

Vince McMahon came to the ring. He addressed the Rosie-Donald skit and even showed footage from it. Vince called the segment “brilliant” and showed a slow-motion recap of the finish. Anyhow, he said that he and Donald share a lot of similarities, but while Donald asks his audience what they want and gives it to them, Vince tells us what we want and expects us to like it. McMahon addressed Miss USA, the person who started the whole Donald-Rosie thing in the first place. Torrie Wilson, dressed as Miss USA, came to the ring.

She looked uncomfortable as McMahon barked orders at her to smile and hurry up. Torrie read off a cue card that she was “Miss USA” (Tara Conner) and she’d been a “very bad girl.” She asked what she could do to make it up to America’s favorite billionaire, Mr. McMahon. Carlito came to the rescue and made his way to the ring with a determined look. McMahon was not happy and asked him what he was doing. Carlito said he knew McMahon was the boss, but he said that despite what he might think, Vince isn’t cool and the Rosie-Donald thing was really bad…in fact, it sucked. CCC said that the people don’t want to see stupid skits or hear McMahon talk; they want to see people fight. Vince, looking pissed off as ever, said he’d give Carlito a fight…against the Great Khali. Khali came to the ring, no sold Carlito’s offense, ignored the crowd’s chants for CCC, and destroyed him with ease. Vince said that was cool.
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