WWE Results: Monday Night RAW, 2-4-08

We're two weeks away from No Way Out. Let's see how it will be hyped on this edition of WWE RAW...

WWE Champion Randy Orton is in the ring with a table. He said his lawyers drew up this contract, which he had already signed, but he demanded John Cena come out and sign the contract because he didn't want the former champ to wuss out on their match at No Way Out.

Cena came out and signed the contract. Orton said that was easy and he guessed he’d see him in two weeks - but warned that if something happened with Mark Henry later in the night, Cena would still have to face Orton. At that,
Henry came running down to the ring and distracted Cena just long enough for Orton to sneak around the table and plant him with an RKO. Orton stood over Cena with his title belt before leaving the ring.

Kelly Kelly & Mickie James v. Victoria & Beth Phoenix
Victoria got all mean and what not and ripped Kelly up over her shoulders by her hair a few times before slamming her to the mat. Kelly had enough and Mickie tags in. Mickie started doing her fun old head scissors and a hangman’s (or woman’s) neck breaker. Mickie went to the top rope but Beth wiggled her off shaking the rope.

Beth came in and began tossing Mickie all about but almost got tapped on a nice guillotine choke. The hell ensued shortly thereafter though as Beth tossed Mickie to the corner. She tagged Victoria who dumped Kelly to the outside. Beth was still dazed on the outside and Victoria taking her eye off the proverbial ball cost her, as Mickie hit the implant DDT for the win.
Winners: Mickie James and Kelly Kelly via pin fall

Elimination Chamber hype time!

Shawn Michaels is in the ring talking about making it to the main event of Wrestlemania. He said he came close to winning the title last year, but second place sucks. He said he’s done everything, won all the titles and heck, he even sings his own theme song. He said still though, he was unsatisfied. He said he was putting everyone on notice. At No Way Out... Chris Jericho’s music hit and he came out to the ring.

Jericho said he couldn’t disagree with anything HBK said except for one thing, which was that he would win the WWE title. Jericho said he’d been in more elimination chambers than anyone. He said he knew what it was to headline Wrestlemania and his passion to get back to it was second to none. He said his destiny would manifest itself an no one would beat him…. out comes Jeff Hardy.

Hardy’s pop was enormous. Hardy looked at both and he said he thought it was great both wanted to go to the main event at Wrestlemania. He said him personally, he’d never been but he’s so close and he can taste it. He said he’d sacrifice his body and do whatever it took, even if that meant taking the five biggest bucks on the Raw roster.. Out.

JBL’s music hit and he came down to the ring. JBL said he had to move away from Texas to live in NYC and live in the home of a champion. He said these people didn’t cut it and needed to shut up while he was talking. He said they all had the resume, but they forgot that JBL always gets what he wants. Whether he buys it or takes it, he gets what he wants in the end. He said Umaga didn’t speak English well, but he understood the language of money and he’d guarantee his safe passage to the Wrestlemania main event.

Umaga’s music hits. Umaga looked at JBL kind of funny. Snitsky’s on his way out now and what the heck is he doing here? Snitsky said all these people had their chances and he deserved to be in the match. He said if they didn’t give him one of their spots, he’d take it himself.

He said the six of them couldn’t agree on anything, but if there was something they’d agree with, that Snitsky didn’t deserve anything. Now all of a sudden we’ve got a fight.

Mr. Kennedy v. Super Crazy
Kennedy dragged Crazy out to the ring post and slammed it off it before coming back into the ring and dropping the elbow. Kennedy ripped away at the leg on a reverse toe hold before Super Crazy eventually kicked him off. Kennedy pounced right back on him though, slapping on some sort of reverse figure our for the tap out win.
Winner: Mr. Kennedy via submission

Kennedy got on the mic and directed us to the titan tron where he showed MVP being a big jerk face to Ric Flair. Kennedy said he knew he was hurt and knew Flair saw what he did to Super Crazy. He said he was going to take it easy on him and let him come out next week and forfeit the match. He said he knew that wasn’t Flair’s style, but he said if he goes through with the match, he’s going to lose. He said not only will he end his career, but he’ll make him limp for the rest of his life.

Santino Marella & Carlito v. London & Kendrick
Carlito and Kendrick started it off. Kendrick hit some kicks and punches before heading into the ropes where he connected with a nice standing drop kick for a two count. Kendrick kept up the pressure and hit a running forearm and some wheel kicks. Kendrick went to the ropes again, but Marella yanked the ropes up and Kendrick crashed and burned. London chased Santino around the ring while Carlito collected Kendrick and nailed a back snapper for the quick win.
Winners: Carlito & Santino Marella via pin fall

Mr. McMahon came down to have Horswoggle join the Kiss My Ass Club. He said many of the people didn’t give a damn about their kids and never disciplined them. He said they were too concerned about themselves, and not about giving tough love to their offspring. He mocked people trying to reason with their kids and said they were pathetic. He said you told your kids what to do.Hornswaggle came out to the ring.

Vince said that Hornswaggle knew he loved him and that it would hurt Vince more than it’d hurt him. Vince said we’d get on with it. Vince got in position and it’s terrible looking. Hornswaggle teased the ass kissing a few times before Finlay’s music hit and he came down to the ring.

Vince said since Finlay was out here, he could kiss his ass too, because he signs his paycheck. Vince got back in position and again they teased something happening. Vince progressively got angrier and angrier. Vince said he’d jam his sheleighleigh up Finlay’s butt if he didn’t kiss his ass. Hornswaggle puckered up and instead of kissing his ass, he took a big bit right out of McMahon’s ass. Vince is beside himself and goes about ripping the crowd. He said since the Crowd liked it so much, they’d love the match between him and Hornswaggle next week.

He said he was going to beat the holy hell out of his bastard son in a No DQ match. He said if Finlay gets involved, he gets fired. No one’s laughing now.

Cade & Murdoch v. Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly
Holly and Murdoch started things off and Holly kicked him in the nuts. Yay. Murdoch must have a vagina because he pretty much no sold it and went into the clothesline and big boot thingy before tagging in Cade who pretty much did his clobbering thing before hitting an awkward looking side Russian leg sweet for a two count.

Holly finally hit a drop kick and hot tagged Rhodes who hit a flying axe handle and a bulldog for a one and a half count. Cody whipped Murdoch but ate a back elbow and a jaw breaker before back body dropping Murdoch. Cade came into the ring and Holly made the quick save allowing Rhodes to hit the DDT for the win.
Winners: Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly via pin fall

Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels & Chris Jericho v. JBL, Umaga & Snitsky
Umaga’s starting things off with Michaels. Crowd likes it. HBK opened up with some chops but got whipped. HBK managed a roll up attempt and avoided the sit out with a low dropkick for a one count. Jericho tagged in and grabbed an arm wringer but that didn’t really work as he got buried with an Umaga head butt.

Snitsky tagged in and brush your teeth chants ring out across the land. Ironic, Texas fans talking about teeth. They’re just jealous. Jericho grabbed the advantage with a springboard drop kick and Hardy’s tagged in and he and Jericho hit a Hardy like tag team move.

Hardy celebrated a bit only got get body slammed by Snitsky and it’s baby face in peril time. JBL comes in and drops a big axe like blow on Hardy’s back before just beating Hardy like a foster child in the corner. Hardy managed to hit a mule kick and a double leg drop for a one count, but didn’t get much.

Back and forth, until eventually: The crowd rallied Jericho to the corner and sure enough he got there, tagging Hardy. Hardy came in and cleaned Snitsky out with a big whisper in the wind only for JBL to cut him off with a big boot. Spike, Code Breaker and then sweet chin music. Hardy and Snitsky are left and he hit a twist of fate before hitting the Swanton for the win.
Winner: Jeff Hardy via pin fall

A video putting over the return of Candice Michelle aired.

Arm Wrestling Contest: John Cena v. Mark Henry
Both men came down to the ring and we get some great stalling from Henry. Both guys are belligerent and we’re ready to get this thing going. Henry treating Cena with no respect is great. Here we go.

AWESOME struggle here. All of a sudden, Henry holds his hand down and Orton runs in. Orton goes for an RKO but Cena ducks out and chases Orton out of the ring. Henry rushes him and Cena picks him up and FU’s him. Great segment.