The Think Tank: The Voices That Make History

By Pete Ellis

I hope that not a single fan of pro wrestling has ever let a broadcast go by without appreciating the announcers who add so much to the broadcast.

Recently, I found myself developing true appreciation for the greatest commentators in the history of wrestling. Sooooooo... here they are!

If the best commentators had a King of the Ring tournament to decide the greatest ever, based on talent and how much they added to the business, it'd go something like this...

Round 1: Jim Ross vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler
You know you've wanted to see these two go head-to-head one way or another. To be honest, I think that so much of what makes Jerry Lawler work is what he bounces off of JR. I don't think the King's sex obsessive and bad joke style would fly if it wasn't right across the table from down-home, clean cut, good old JR. I give the nod to Ross, who is loveable in any situation and passionate at every event. Every night is the biggest of his career.

JR wins.

Round 1: Bobby "The Brain" Heenan vs. Joey Styles
Talk about a contrast in styles... no pun intended. Some might say that Joey doesn't belong in the running, but I think Styles provides enough energy and interest in the history of our sport to be considered a top commentary figure. He did quite a few of those old ECW shows by himself.

But after the dust settles, you know Bobby was a true figurehead at every event he took part in. I'll never forget him calling "This Tuesday in Texas" watching a match between The Nasty Boys and The Natural Disasters. His partner noticed a sign in the audience that read "Natural Disasters Rule!" "How about that Bobby!" Heenan: "If she was home doing the dishes like she's supposed to, she wouldn't have time to make stupid signs."

That comment works on so many levels.

Bobby Heenan wins.

Round 1: Gorilla Monsoon vs. Jessy "The Body" Ventura
It pisses me off when I hear some reporter refer to Ventura as a "Former wrestler turned politician." Jesse was an announcer who tried and failed to have a wrestling career. He was much more successful as a broadcaster.

Still, I don't think he can lay claim to be the best of his generation. Gorilla Monsoon had all the charm and passion of JR and worked in a time when he could truly make you forget that it's entertainment. Hulk Hogan owes more of his success to Monsoon then Stone Cold owes to Ross.

Jesse Ventura was so negative at times that you'd swear he was getting ready to kick someone's ass at the broadcast table.

Gorilla Monsoon wins.

Round 1: Rowdy Roddy Pipper vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
This would have made a fantastic team behind the mic. Roddy Piper brought a "live wire" style to the position, and both of these men offer something that many lacked: a claim to real wrestling experience. Piper then and JBL now provide the ability to talk about guys in the ring who they have faced and give you a belivable annalysis of what it was like to fight them.

I love JBL's sense of humor, but I give a slight edge to Rowdy Roddy and his laugh-cry approach to color commentary. If you've ever heard the hot Scott behind the mic, you know what I'm talking about.

Piper wins.

Semifinals: Gorilla Monsoon vs. Roddy Pipper
These two were so different that it's hard to draw a good comparison, but Roddy's tragically short broadcast career is a big strike against him. I would love to see Roddy back today, but until that happens I have to rank Monsoon well ahead of him.

Monsoon wins.

Semifinals: Jim Ross vs. Bobby Heenan
Once again, I find myself wanting to go with Bobby because he was so darn entertaining by himself away from the show. But the best commentators add to the show rather then detract from it. For example, the biggest problem Smackdown has right now is that JBL is sometimes better than the show.

Jim Ross wins.

Championship: Jim Ross vs. Gorilla Monsoon
This is so hard to call. So many great moments for each, and by the end of his career, JR may be the best commentary man of all time. But as of this moment, I still believe Gorilla Monsoon was a little bit better. I miss Monsoon just a little more than I look forward to JR.

Here's hoping that the future of wrestling commentary gets even better. We should be so lucky.