Angle, Cage Add to Their Teams: TNA iMPACT Results, 3-22-07

The following report is courtesy of wrestlemag.com ...

Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe and Rhino opened the show with an interview, saying they all have big egos, but can you imagine what would happen when they combine forces at the Lethal Lockdown.

1. Kurt Angle, Rhino and Samoa Joe defeated Kaz, Martyr and Havoc in 2:24. Total squash, which is wise since the faces are the first three members of Team Angle. Finish came when Rhino gored Havoc, Angle gave Kaz a German suplex, and Joe delivered the muscle buster on Martyr for the pin. After the latest loss for Serotonin, Rhino put Kaz in shackles tied to the wall, and started pouring hot candle wax on Havoc.

Backstage, A.J. Styles was freaking out to Christian Cage over how impressive Team Angle looked. He was also upset at Cage for not keeping his promise about a title shot he was supposed to receive if he aligned with Cage. Cage said by the end of the night, the sides would be even-or so he thought.

Backstage, Sting and Abyss did an interview with Jeremy Borash. It should be noted that Letitia was backstage for several segments but never spoke in any of them, only serving as eye candy. Even then, she was fully clothed. Borash said seeing Sting and Abyss together was something he never thought he’d see. Sting told Abyss he was a step closer to being free of his demons, and there’s on turning back. Sting took off his sunglasses, revealing the scarred left eye suffered when James Mitchell threw the fireball at him.

What followed was the best segment in months. Team 3-D, with cases in the ring, asked LAX to come out. Brother Ray, who did his usual superb interview, admitted LAX got the better of them. This was followed by a very audible round of applause from the crowd. Ray said 3-D and LAX had plenty in common, breaking the necks of young girls (referring to Beulah McGillicutty) and throwing 80-year-old women off the balcony (Mae Young. Big pop for that one). He took issue with LAX trying to take 3-D’s legacy, and they pulled out the WWE tag belts, the WCW tag belts (in fact, they were the last WCW tag champs, defeating the Hardy Boys on October 23, 2001 during the Invasion travesty), and finally, the ECW belts, which actually received the biggest ovation. Ray said at Lockdown, they were all-in, and teased if LAX defeated them, they would get the belts.

3-D stuck out their hands, but before Homicide and Hernandez could shake them, Konnan came out. He got out of his wheelchair, used his crutches to get in the ring, and cut his usual superb promo. He challenged them to a Electrified Cage match. Unlike with most Russo stipulations, they actually explained how if figured into the match, since an electric fence keeps illegal aliens out of the U.S. I doubt if that’s true, but Konnan made it make sense. 3-D didn’t accept the challenge, and Cornette looked flustered trying to figure out how to get an electric cage.

Bob Backland told Cornette he wanted a match at Lockdown. He offered a urine sample. After the events of this week, that was funny. Cornette told Backland he could referee the Austin Starr/Senshi match, but if he interfered in the upcoming Eric Young/Austin Starr match, he couldn’t.

2. The Austin Starr defeated Eric Young. Robert Roode gave instructions to Starr on his way out of the ramp. Young has gained some serious weight. He almost looks like the older brother of the guy who was playing the dork in Team Canada two years ago. Starr did a drop kick. He put Young on the top rope, climbed up with him, and scratched his back off the top. Roode and Miss Brooks came to ringside at this point. Starr did an STO, but missed the pendulum elbow. Young responded with an elbow, clothesline and backdrop. He did an elbow off the top when Miss Brooks distracted the referee. Roode got in the ring, nailed Young from behind, and Starr got the pin with the brainbuster. Afterwards, Roode and Brooks scolded Young until Petey Williams ran in. Young started brawling with Roode, flipped Brooks over after she jumped on his back, and started to shake hands with Young. Roode then pulled Young out of the ring and started chewing him out again. They sort of explained why Williams ran in there, since he, Young and Roode were all once in Team Canada.

Jerry Lynn did an interview. When he started to run down Christopher Daniels, the lights went out and Lynn got clocked with a chair. The lights came back on, and Daniels, in a black trenchcoat, started choking Lynn with a belt. Mike Tenay and Don West teased a program with Sting, which would be the right direction for Daniels to go in.

Chris Harris joined the parade to Cornette’s office. Cornette refused to let Harris in the ring if he’s 60% blind. Harris was furious, saying if that’s the best Cornette can do, it’s not good enough.

James Storm vs. Jerry Lynn never got going since Lynn was injured from the previous segment. Storm challenged anyone, and Harris came out. That was rushed, and could have been done next week. Gail Kim tried to hold Harris back, but Jaqueline Moore called Kim a no-good slut. Suddenly, Kim didn’t feel like restraining Harris. That was also rushed. Kim started brawling with Moore, while Harris chased Storm around ringside, and tore his ring robe off. Harris sure does run around the ring capably for someone with 40% eyesight. This crammed a month’s worth of angles into one segment, and didn’t have much heat.

Gale Kim started to ask Cornette for a match at Lockdown, when Moore came from behind and they started brawling again. Moore hit Kim with a tennis racket. Also thrown were printers, mugs and countless other objects before the Mike Nifong security broke it up.

3. Christian Cage and A.J. Styles defeated Sting and Abyss in 9:44. About 7:30 or so aired. Longest TV match since the Christian Cage/ Rhino cage with poles match late last year. The heels jumped the faces before the bell. Sting and Abyss opened with stereo splashes. Sting did the punches in the corner on Cage before Styles snapped Sting’s head off the ropes. Cage did a missile drop kick. Styles followed with the best dropkick in the best dropkick in the business for a two count. They went to a break. Upon the return, Cage missed a dropkick, but Sting missed a splash. Cage missed a diving head butt, and Abyss got the hot tag. He started cleaning house, as Cage took a big boot, as did Styles.

Styles took the shock treatment for a two count until Cage made the save. Then Sting made a blind tag, Abyss landed a double clothesline, and Sting hit a double crossbody block. At this point, James Mitchell escorted Abyss’ mother (though she was never identified). Abyss looked torn about finishing the match and going to his mother, only to ultimately choose his mother. In the ring, Sting was no-selling the double-team offense, and started to fire punches left and right. He put Styles in the scorpion death lock. Cage distracted the ref, which allowed Steiner to run in and clocked Sting with a pipe. Styles got the pin.