TNA Wrestling Spoilers: iMPACT Results, 1-25-07

The following report is courtesy of wrestlemag.com ...

Samoa Joe came out. He was asked why he would come out and help Kurt Angle like he did at the end of last week’s show. He said he wouldn’t piss on Angle if he were on fire, and announced himself as the unofficial ringside enforcer for the Christian Cage-Angle match at the Turning Point PPV. This brought out Angle, who wanted to know if he was Cage’s consultant.

Basically, Joe denied being in cahoots with Cage, but would eventually win the NWA World Heavyweight Title. Cage came out with Tomko, and said Joe wasn’t the consultant because he isn’t good enough. Then Cage got off a funny line about how he was such a good liar, he wasn’t even sure if he could believe himself sometimes. Cage vowed to give Angle a second clue as to who the consultant was by the end of the show. Instead of just cutting to a commercial, Joe and Angle got into their weekly pull-apart brawl that means nothing.

James Mitchell cut another fabulous promo. Unfortunately, he also challenged Sting to meet Abyss in the prison yard at Turning Point. Mitchell, who had Abyss screaming behind him, vowed if Sting unveiled the secret, it would ignite heaven on fire.

Jim Cornette, in his only appearance of the night, scolded Serotonin. He ordered Raven to finally wrestle Rhino. Then Cornette channeled Frank Shamrock and said “Say hello to Uncle Fester.”

Rhino versus Raven never got started. First, Johnny Devine, Matt Bentley and Kazarian ran in the ring to get destroyed. Then someone dressed like Raven ran in to cane Rhino. Upon unmasking, it was A.J. Styles, who really nailed Rhino with a sick chair shot. This should have been a good enough heat-catching angle to stick. Instead, it was forgotten about in record time, and just another segment on this show.

Christian Cage broke into the TNA television truck barking out orders. I’m not sure if this is building to something or what, because it never went anywhere on this show.

This week’s Paparazzi Production was an overnight trip to a gas station so Eric Young, joined by Jeremy Borash, could get some condoms. While he was there, wouldn’t you know it, James Storm, Miss Tennessee and Slick Johnson showed up, making fun of Young buying rubbers. Storm, of course, was there to get beer. Young wound up vowing to burn the tape. Anyway, Bobby Roode saw the tape and ordered Miss Brooks to “complete the deal” next week or else she would be fired.

Jerry Lynn won a four-way over X-Division champion Chris Sabin, Senshi and Austin Starr. They mentioned Lynn as the 43-year-old X-Division pioneer. We saw just enough of Senshi vs. Lynn to know this should be a program. Senshi, who looked motivated just being back in front of the crowd wrestling, opened with a standing drop kick on Lynn. Lynn countered with a spinning backbreaker. Sabin tagged Lynn hard and put the boots to Senshi, and hit a drop kick while he was crotched in the corner for a two count. Lynn made the hot tag, hit several drop kicks and a TKO on Sabin for a two count. Finish came when Lynn got out of the Cradle Shock and turned it into a sunset flip for the pin at 2:49.

B.G. James of the Voodoo Kin Mafia did a sit-down interview with Letitia trying to apologize for Kip’s sexist remarks regarding Christy Hemme. Kip had tape on his month. It ended up with Kip putting the tape around B.G.’s month and saying women have no place in wrestling.

Konnan did a promo standing in front of a walker, playing up like it was Team 3-D that caused him to be crippled. Once again, Konnan succeeded in making LAX the faces, because the promo was that good. He warned 3-D that LAX broke up Chris Daniels and A.J. Styles, America’s Most Wanted, and 3-D would be next.

Sting came out to unveil Abyss secret, announcing he put three bullets in the back of his father’s head. After the announcement, they cut to a crowd shot, and you could see the indifference in their faces. No pop at all, and they had to sweeten up the crowd noise again. Sting knew that by making the announcement, Abyss would unleash hell on him. Then Abyss ran out to, well, unleash hell on him. They played it up like Sting was just letting Abyss pound on him to get his frustrations out, which sure made Sting look weak.

Eventually, they wound up on the concourse, similar to the Angle-Joe brawl from a few weeks ago. Except Sting got no offense in at all. It ended when Jim Mitchell burned Sting’s face with a fireball. Sting was screaming, and they carried him out in an ambulance. It was well-executed, including showing a replay of the ambulance pulling out after break.

Cage cut a promo asking Tomko if he had the second hint ready for Angle.

Christian Cage defeated Christopher Daniels in 4:12. They finally got around to acknowledging Daniels losing the X-Division title to Sabin at the Final Resolution PPV two weeks ago. And they wonder why the X-Division isn’t taken seriously anymore. They aired an interview with Daniels to where he’s looking over his priorities outside wrestling. Daniels opened with a clothesline and a slingshot elbow for a two count. He set up on the second rope, where Tomko pushed him off. At this point, Joe came out. After returning from a break, they interviewed Joe in the middle of the match, and he said he was there because he wanted to prove a point to Angle.

Finish came when Daniels reversed an unprettier into a downward spiral, then a Koji Cluntch. As Cage was tapping, Tomko got in the ring. Joe went in to meet him. As Earl Hebner stepped between them, Daniels got up, only to get kicked by Cage in the groin, and get nailed for the unprettier for the pin. Afterwards, Cage gave Joe a thumbs up like Joe was working with him. Kurt Angle ran out to go face-to-face with Joe as the show went off the air.