The Undertaker Shows Up: Monday Night RAW Results, 1-29-07

The following report is courtesy of lordsofpain.net ...

The show opened with HBK coming to the ring. He grabbed a mic and said that last week, he said that no mere mortal man would keep him from winning the Rumble. Well, Taker is no mere mortal man. HBK said that he was still going to main-event Wrestlemania 23 and take the WWE Championship.

He said he knew the people were saying that Taker gets to choose who he’s going to face. HBK knew all that, but he said that if Taker chooses Batista, it leaves the WWE Champion wide open. Thus, Michaels threw his hat into the championship ring, which brought out the WWE Champion John Cena. Cena limped to the ring, grabbed a mic, and made sure he was hearing HBK correctly. However, Cena reminded Shawn that it wasn’t up to them, but rather the Undertaker. At that point, Edge came out with a microphone and said that Michaels vs. Cena wasn’t going to happen. Edge reminded HBK how he’d predicted that Michaels would come away from the Rumble with a feeling of “close, but no cigar.”

The Rated-R Superstar also reminded Cena of his numerous wins over the champ and that he’s undefeated at Mania. Edge, thus, believes he should get the title shot if Taker chooses Batista. Randy Orton came to the ramp at that point. Orton addressed his tag partner first. He said that they may be tag champs, but it’s every man for himself when it comes to the WWE title. Orton said Edge had faced Cena like 30 times…Randy has never even had one. Edge said the reason for that would be that…Cena interrupted the “puss bags” and told them to either shut up or come to the ring and fight him and HBK. Rated-RKO headed to the ring, but Vince McMahon appeared on the Titantron and told them to stop right there. VKM made a tag title match b/t Rated-RKO and Cena/HBK.

Match 1: Cryme Tyme vs. The World’s Greatest Tag Team
- Haas, with corn rows, started it off against Shad. They locked up, with Haas going after Shad’s leg and then his arm. Haas switched form an armbar to a headlock, but Shad came back with a series of shoulder tackles. Shelton came in while the ref’s back was turned and superkicked Shad in the back of the leg. Haas went to work from there. Shad tried to fight back, but Haas used a single leg takedown to continue to build momentum. Shelton tagged in and further worked over Shad’s leg. Shad again tried to fight back, but Shelton used a single-leg takedown and quickly switched right into a half Boston Crab. JTG eventually got the tag and cleaned house. He scored back elbow on Shelton and went after Haas. Shad tried to take Shelton out of the ring to leave his partner alone with Charlie, but Benjamin skinned the cat and caught Shad with a head scissors that sent the big man out of the ring. JTG came up from behind Shelton with a roll up, but Haas gave him a DDT. Shelton scored the pin soon after. TWGTT defeated Cryme Tyme at 3:38.

Match 2: Melina vs. Maria
- Maria scored a quick near fall with a roll-up. She then gave Melina a wedgy and a Bronco Buster. Melina came back with several hard shots to the face and a hair pull that sent Maria to the mat. She then placed Maria between the second ropes near a corner turnbuckle and kicked her in the back. Maria came back with another roll-up and eventually scored with a jawbreaker. However, Melina regained control with a one-woman flapjack and a unique submission move. The finish came when Maria tapped. Thus, Melina defeated Maria to become #1 contender at 2:45.

Backstage, HBK was interviewed. Michaels looked annoyed and said that he’d done pretty well against Rated-RKO and tonight he’d win the tag titles. When asked how his chemistry would be with Cena, HBK said that with all due respect to the champ…Cena is no Triple H.

Further backstage, Super Crazy told Mickie James that he was super and crazy. Melina said it was crazy for Mickie to think she’d be women’s champ after they wrestled for the belt.

Match 3: Val Venis vs. Umaga (w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada)
- Venis tried to gain first strike points before the bell rang, but Umaga wasted no time putting the Big Valbowski down with a Samoan Drop. The Samoan Bulldozer then placed him in the tree-of-woe and clobbered him with several right handed shots. He followed with a jumping/diving headbutt. Umaga repositioned Venis and sat him in the corner. He then connected with a running rear smash and got the win soon after following the Samoan Spike. Umaga defeated Venis at 1:49.

Vince McMahon came to the ring sporting a cowboy hat with the Coach and some security guards. JR and King mentioned that Vince would be having “Fan Appreciation Night” on ECW tomorrow night, as well. Vince said that the first thing he wanted to say was “Howdy partner!” He said phrases like that were as ridiculous as people that wear cowboy hats. He called those that wear hats stupid. Vince had a huge picture frame behind him with a large cloak over it. He said tonight was his night to give back to the little people. The crowd chanted, “You Suck.” He said it was his night to say “Thank You” to all the fans for helping make him a billionaire. He then promised to give one member of the crowd a gift of material wealth. After searching thru the crowd, he picked out an attractive woman in a mini-skirt. She came into the ring. Vince said he understood that she must be nervous standing in the ring with him. Her name was Jackie. After a drum roll, Vince pulled the cloak off the frame to reveal a huge, framed version of his Muscle and Fitness cover from early last year. That was Jackie’s prize. The crowd booed the hell out of him, as he told her to return to her seat.

Donald Trump appeared on the Titantron at that point. Trump said that Vince claimed to tell the audience what they wanted, when in actuality they had no choice and no alternative to Vince and his product. Donald said he knew the audience better than Vince…he said they want value for what they paid for. Trump had buckets of money dumped from the rafters. Vince said those were just pieces of paper, but King insisted it was real. The fans in the crowd certainly acted like it was real. Vince was pissed, as it rained cash all over the arena. McMahon said Trump had not heard the last of this. He said the fans didn’t deserve that money and tried to take it from the fans at ringside. Vince stormed off.

Match 4: Carlito (w/ Torrie) and Super Crazy vs. Kenny Dykstra and Chris Masters
- Crazy started off against Masters, who backed him to the corner. Masters scored a few quick moves in the corner, but Crazy came back with a springboard cross body and a low dropkick. The crowd got behind Crazy, who rolled thru a Kenny sunset flip and scored another low dropkick. Carlito tagged in and caught Kenny with a hurricanrana. Crazy got the blind tag. Eventually the heels isolated him. Masters gave him a backbreaker. Kenny tagged in and connected on a second rope double axe handle. Dykstra applied a rear chinlock, as Torrie tried to get the crowd going. Kenny scored with a jumping back elbow smash and tagged Masters.

Dykstra and Masters connected on a double suplex. The Masterpiece kept Crazy on the mat with a series of elbow drops. Kenny tagged back in and continued to work over Crazy’s back. Dykstra blasted Crazy with a pair of short-arm clothesline. He then reapplied the rear chinlock. Torrie again tried to get the crowd going. Crazy tried to fight back, but Kenny dropped him back to the mat with a back suplex. Carlito got the tag and cleaned house with a springboard back elbow and Million Dollar knee lift on Masters. He went for a Lionsault, but Masters moved out of the way. Carlito landed on his feet in mid-move and scored with a dropkick. Kenny got involved, but Crazy took him over the top rope. Masters, meanwhile, went for a gorilla press slam, but Carlito countered and hit the Back Cracker for the win. Carlito and Crazy got the win at 7:29.

Match 5: Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy vs. The Great Khali
- Khali grabbed the title out of the ref’s hand, prompting Jeff to shake off his nerves and attack the big man. It didn’t work, as Khali easily tossed him out of the ring. Khali then grabbed him by the hair and pulled him to the apron. The crowd tried to will Jeff back into the match with a “Hardy” chant, but Khali continued his dominance. Great Khali tossed Jeff back into the ring and back him into a corner. A barrage of lumbering, simplistic offense followed. Hardy managed to counter a body slam and catch Khali with a few quick strikes, but the offense was short-lived. Khali regained control with a hard clothesline. Hardy came back with the Whisper in the Wind, but Khali barely budged. The big man charged for a big boot, but Jeff moved and made Khali crotch himself on the top rope. Jeff tried to capitalize, but Khali came back and chopped him off the top rope to the floor. The finish came when Hardy couldn’t answer the ref’s ten-count. Thus, Khali won via CO, but Hardy retained the title at 3:50.

Vladimir Koslov was at ringside. He said he loves Double Double E, but wasn’t impressed by any WWE superstar in the Royal Rumble.

Match 6: World Tag Champions Rated-RKO vs. Shawn Michaels and WWE Champion John Cena
- HBK started against Edge with a lengthy lock-up. Edge got first strike points, but missed a shoulder thrust in the corner, allowing HBK to take him down with an enziguiri. Michaels taunted Orton and went back to work on Edge with a series of chops and a knee lift. Cena tagged in to a nice pop and caught Edge with a hip toss and a body slam. The champ still had his ribs taped. A “Cena” chant broke out, as the champ scored with a DDT for a near fall. Edge bought himself the time to tag Orton when he tossed Cena into the corner turnbuckle. Randy came in and went to work, but Cena soon came back with a Fisherman’s suplex for a near fall. Orton raked his eyes, though, and regained control. Randy backed the champ into the heel corner.

Cheap tactics followed from Rated-RKO, but Cena battled back and pushed Orton into Edge, knocking the Rated-R Superstar off the apron and to the floor. The champ caught Orton with a roll-up for a near fall. Edge was upset that Orton had knocked him off the apron. Orton, who had regained control once again with a standing dropkick, pleaded his case to his partner. Edge started to leave the ringside area, as Orton begged him to come back. We then got a dreaded mid-match commercial break, but that was to be expected. Back from the break, Cena dropped Edge with a diving shoulder tackle, a clothesline, and the Prototype spinning back drop. He tried to follow with the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Orton caught him in the kidney area with hard punch. HBK tried to reason with the ref. Edge scored a near fall stemming from Orton’s kidney punch. Cena tried to crawl over to HBK to make the hot tag, but Rated-RKO maintained control. Orton tagged in and stomped a mud hole in the champ. Randy followed with a jumping knee drop and tagged Edge. Edge taunted the crowd and blasted Cena with a standing dropkick. He could not put the champ down for the count, though. Edge changed gears and drove his knee into Cena’s injured kidneys/ribs. Orton tagged in and gave Cena a leg drop and another jumping knee drop.

Randy pummeled him several clubbing forearm blows and then locked on a body scissors around Cena’s mid-section. At that point, Cena’s forehead cut re-opened. Nonetheless, Cena powered back to his feet with Orton still wrapped around him. The champ rammed Orton into the turnbuckle, but Orton came back with a thumb to the eyes. The Legend Killer tried for a dropkick, but Cena held onto the ropes. They each crawled to their corners. HBK made the hot tag and cleaned house. He caught Edge with a flying forearm and an inverted atomic drop. Michaels followed with a body slam and flying elbow drop off the top rope. He then tuned up the bank for Sweet Chin Music, but Orton came into the ring and dropkicked him. Edge crawled over and tagged Randy, who promptly poised for the RKO. HBK countered the finisher and pushed Orton to his back. Cena came in and gave Orton the FU. 1…2…3! Cena and HBK became World Tag Team Champions at 15:00.

After the match, Cena caught HBK looking to give him a superkick. Cena asked HBK if the WWE title was what he wanted. At that point, the Undertaker showed up at the ramp (surrounded by flames) and stared down the champ.