A Big (Show) Problem for DX: RAW Results, 8-28-06

The following results are courtesy of lordsofpain.net ...

A recap aired of the DX antics from last week and the subsequent breakdown of Chairman of the Board, Vince McMahon.

The show opened with Shane McMahon coming down to the ring. He wasn’t his usual dancing-fool self either, as he came to the ring with a straight face and looking all-business, so to speak. Shane grabbed a microphone and said that DX had a lot of balls and had reached new lows with their sophomoric pranks. He said they’d gone too far when they endangered him and his dad’s lives at the end of Raw last week. He continued by saying that they’d managed to tear out a piece of Vince’s heart, to the point that the man couldn’t even enjoy his birthday last Thursday.

Vince, for that reason, was not going to be here tonight and would be staying at the hotel. Shane, thus, was in charge of the show and immediately made a match b/t DX and opponents that were on a strictly need-to-know basis. He said that by the end of the night, DX would not only learn the identity of their opponents, but also their fate for Unforgiven. Shane said that without further ado, he’d like to send DX straight to hell, but at that point WWE Champion Edge (w/ Women’s champ Lita) showed up. Edge, looking frustrated, said that Shane needed to do something about John Cena throwing the champ into the harbor last week. He said he was the champion and you don’t throw him in the Long Island Sound.

Edge said he wanted Cena fired and out of his life, but at that point John Cena came to the ring. Cena, to a mixed reaction, called Edge “Skeletor” and mocked Edge’s storytelling that ends happily for the champion. The former champion also made fun of Lita, calling her a whore and suggesting Shane give her ten bucks and enjoy the ride. Cena said that if Edge wanted him gone, then all he needs to do is give him one more match for the title. If he loses, he’ll go to Smackdown (he had already pulled out a signed contract from Teddy Long). Edge agreed, but on two conditions: 1) He gets to decide where the match takes place and 2) He gets to name what kind of match they face off in. Cena agreed to the terms and tried to leave…but Shane said he was not dismissed, yet. Shane said that Cena cannot disrespect the champion like he did last week and get away with it. Thus, he’d have to wrestle in a match that would begin right now…

Match 1: John Cena vs. Chris Masters
- Cena caught Masters with a belly-to-belly suplex as we returned from the break. He followed with a fisherman’s suplex for a near fall. Masters came back with a boot to the face and a running clothesline. Chris was supporting a goatee. A “Cena Sucks” chant broke out, as Masters continued to dominate. Cena fought back, but ended up getting powerslammed for his troubles. Masters then locked in a modified Camel Clutch. Cena broke the hold and hit a pair of diving shoulder tackles. A Prototype spinning back drop and Five Knuckle Shuffle followed, but when Cena went for the FU, Masters countered and hit a reverse DDT.

Chris tried for the Master Lock, but Cena countered into the STFU. Masters was about to tap, but Edge came to the ring and blasted Cena with a steel chair. Thus, Cena won via DQ at around 4:00. After the match, Edge got a ladder from under the ring and clocked Cena right in the forehead. The champ shook his head to indicate he wasn’t finished and retrieved a table from under the ring. He set it up in the corner and threw Cena shoulder-first through it. Edge grabbed a mic, said that Cena’s title match was going to take place in Toronto, Canada at Unforgiven … and it’d be a TLC match.

Backstage, Haas/Viscera and Cade/Murdoch asked Shane if they could face DX tonight. Shane got a call from Vince. Via a split screen, Vince talked of how happy he was to be back at the hotel eating food, drinking wine, and relaxing. The door bell rang at Vince’s hotel. Vince told whoever it was to come in, assuming it was room service. He turned around when he heard the sound of a rooster. DX had delivered to “cocks” in cages to Vince’s room. On the other end of the phone, Shane was asking what was going on.

Further backstage, Carlito and Trish Stratus talked about what they were going to do tonight after the show. Carlito asked Trish when she was planning on telling him that she was retiring. Apparently, wwe.com mobile alerts had indicated that Lita found out about Trish retiring after Unforgiven and spilled the beans. Trish got a little pissed about Lita letting the cat out of the bad. Carlito said it was cool and supported her decision … but he gave her a kiss to make sure she was going to get a proper goodbye. Randy Orton snuck up behind them, though, and blasted Carlito, sending him right into Trish. Orton finished up his attack by throwing Carlito into a crate.

JR and King showed footage of Umaga’s attack on Kane, which led to Kane bleeding from the mouth.

Match 2: Back to School, Paddle on a Pole Match - Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle
- They each tried to get the pole for about the first-minute, but Candice locked on her unique leg choke hold while draped over the top rope to take control. Candice nearly reached the Paddle, but decided to rip off her top instead. Torrie caught up to her and powerbombed her into the turnbuckle. She then took off her skirt and gave Candice the Stink Face. The finish came when Candice pushed Torrie ass-first out of the way. Candice defeated Torrie and got to spank her. After the match, they took turns spanking each other.

Match 3: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy
- Hardy’s got some nice new pyro. Orton connected with a knee-lift to start the match and hammered away on Hardy in the corner. Hardy came back with a running neckbreaker and a running dropkick (in the corner). He followed by clotheslining Orton over the top rope. To the outside Hardy followed, as he connected on a nice springboard corkscrew moonsault. Back from the break, Orton had Hardy in a rear choke, thanks to a hard clothesline during the commercial. Hardy fought back with a spinning back kick that sent Orton to the outside. Hardy came back with a suicide dive, but Orton kicked him in the head in the process. Back in the ring, Orton raked Hardy’s face with his boot.

Hardy came back with a side suplex and a running clothesline. Orton tried to fight back with a dropkick, but Hardy dodged the move and hit a double leg drop to the Legend Killer’s groin. Hardy followed with a dropkick from the second rope for a near fall. Randy finally got some offense in with a poke to the eye and his unique backbreaker. Orton then tried for a powerbomb, but Hardy countered into a hurricanrana. Randy tried to stay on him with an Irish whip into the corner, but Hardy jumped up to the second rope and tried to fly with a cross body block. Orton countered, though, and hit a dropkick. Hardy eventually came back with a modified neckbreaker and went up top for the Swanton. However, Orton rolled out of the ring. Hardy tried to follow, but the ref restrained him. Carlito ran down to the ring, at that point, and struck Orton in the back of the head.

Randy went back to the ring, but the ref once again tried to restrain Hardy so that he could get control of the situation. This distraction allowed Carlito to spit apple in Orton’s face, and Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate. The finish came when Hardy defeated Orton after a Swanton Bomb at 10:23.

Backstage, Shawn asked what the new DX t-shirt meant. Vince likes chicken? Shane, w/ some cops, showed up and told DX that the pranks would need to stop. Triple H mocked Vince when Shane suggested they grow up. Shawn plugged the Vince DVD in the process …

Cena talked about his new movie, The Marine. His costars, Kelly Carlson and Robert Patrick (T1000 from Terminator 2) also talked about the film.

Match 4: Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Eugene vs. World Tag Champions The Spirit Squad
- (The Highlanders joined King and JR for commentary). Kenny and Mikey defended the belts. Mikey and Eugene started it off. Eugene connected on two JYD-like headbutts to take control. He followed with an atomic drop that sent Mikey outside. The Highlanders got into it with the other Squad members, prompting the ref to toss them all from the ringside area. Once back in the ring, Mikey scoop slammed Eugene and tagged Kenny.

The Squad hit a double suplex. Mitch, apparently, did not get ejected from ringside. Mikey tagged back and synched in a front face lock. Eugene tried to inch toward the ropes for a tag to Duggan, but Mikey released the hold and blasted Hacksaw to prevent it. Duggan eventually got the hot tag, anyway, and cleaned house. At some point, Mitch took the cover off the turnbuckle. Thus, when Duggan tried for his running shoulder tackle, Mikey was pulled out of the way, sending Hacksaw into the exposed steel. The Spirit Squad retained.

After the match, Umaga destroyed Eugene and Hacksaw. Armando Alejandro Estrada took the mic and told Kane that he stuck his nose in the wrong man’s business at Summerslam.

JR and King showed footage of Melina turning on Mick Foley after he kissed VKM’s ass to save Melina’s job, and then hyped a Melina and Nitro press conference, set to come up next.

IC Champion Johnny Nitro and Melina made their usual entrance to the ring for their press conference. Nitro started things off, revealing that the reason they called this press conference was to address those who had questioned Melina’s “firing” of Mick Foley. Nitro hyped himself and asked what these people had expected. He said he was everything Foley and the rest of the people were not. Nitro said he goes home, gets freaky w/ Melina, and cuddles w/ the IC title. He said that it killed Mick Foley that he was w/ Melina and not him. Nitro said that they could all fantasize about Melina, but they were not him and could not have her.

The IC Champ called Foley a quitter, while Melina called him an ass kisser. She said he kissed her ass, the people’s asses, and Vince’s ass … plus, he’s a disgusting old man. The crowd turned once Melina started fumbling over her words … She was shaken by that and continued to screw up. She said Foley never touched her. She called what Foley had for a “school boy crush.” Melina mocked Foley for being regular and hyped herself and Nitro as stars. She had pulled it together by that point. Nitro closed the segment strongly, stating that Foley should go back to his computer, write his blog, watch Nitro’s career go places his could never go, and see Nitro do things that he could never do (he hugged Melina). Nitro claimed himself to be the future of sports entertainment.

King and JR talked briefly about Kurt Angle’s departure from the WWE.

Match 5: Women’s Champion Lita vs. Mickie James
- Mickie attacked before the bell rang, but ended up getting tossed out of the ring soon after. Lita brought James back in the ring, as Mickie favored her knee. Lita worked over the knee, as the former champion screamed in agony. The current champion hammered away at her challenger in the corner and threw her across the ring. Lita mocked Mickie, prompting James to make a comeback with an enziguiri. Mickie stayed after it with a running clothesline and a dropkick. She then caught Lita with a monkey flip out of the corner and followed with a Perfect Plex for a near fall.

Lita came back soon after with an elbow to the jaw and went outside to retrieve the title belt. The ref took the belt away and the distraction allowed James to school boy Lita for a near fall. Mickie proceeded to try for a hurricanrana out of the corner, but Lita countered and hit a powerbomb. The finish came when Lita pinned James to retain the title at 3:28 with some help from the ropes.

Match 6: DX vs. Mystery Opponents
- DX did their usual pre-match schtick, w/ Trips throwing in during his part that Vince was at his hotel “choking the chicken.” Shane O’Mac came to the ramp and brought out DX’s opponents, from Smackdown, US Champion Finlay, William Regal, and Mr. Kennedy. Back from the break, Regal drilled HBK with several knee strikes to the face before locking in a wear down hold. The heels had apparently taken control during the break. HBK fought back, but Finlay dragged Michaels to the outside and clotheslined him. The Little Bastard was then used to splash HBK. Back in the ring, Regal connected on a running knee strike.

The heels continued to dominate via cheating and other cheap tactics. Finlay tagged in and drilled HBK with a hard right hand and a running shoulder lift in the corner. A rear drop to HBK’s mid-section followed. Regal tagged back in soon after and again used alternating knee strikes to keep the future Hall-of-Famer at bay. Finlay tagged back in and went for another running shoulder lift, but HBK moved out of the way and sent the US champ shoulder-first into the ring post. Triple H got the hot tag and went wild on the heels, hitting facebusters, spinebusters, and a running high knee. Trips went for the Pedigree, but Kennedy blasted him and headed to the top. Kennedy came flying off with a Swanton Bomb, but Trips moved out of the way.

HBK and Trips threw Kennedy out of the ring. Meanwhile, Regal got a chair and tried to hit Trips w/ it. Trips ducked it, causing Regal to hit Finlay with a chair. The finish came when Trips got the pin on Regal after a Pedigree. DX defeated Kennedy, Regal, and Finlay at around 7:00.

After the match, Shane brought out the Big Show. The ECW champ headed to the ring and teamed up with the SD guys to take out HBK and HHH. After Finlay worked over both DX members w/ a shillelagh and Show chokeslammed the both of them, Vince came to the ring with a lead pipe and blasted each of them in the face, busting both members open. Vince struck each of them with a camera, as well. Shane finished them off with running shots with that lead pipe. VKM said that it wasn’t over between them, and that at Unforgiven, he and Shane would team up with Big Show to face DX … in a HELL IN A CELL match!